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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28049955">The one that brings peace</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kami_cullen/pseuds/Kami_cullen'>Kami_cullen</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>All For The Game - Nora Sakavic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Birth, Comfort, Detailed Description of Birth, Fluff, M/M, Pregnancy, Protective Andrew Minyard, Soft Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard, This is so soft, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Trans Andrew Minyard, Unplanned Pregnancy, Wholesome, Wholesome Twinyards, Wordcount: Over 20.000</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 14:48:17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>23,552</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28049955</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kami_cullen/pseuds/Kami_cullen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Neil and Andrew had been friends for over a decade and had been together for four years, they're just starting their careers as pro Exy players when an unexpected surprise comes to change the course of their lives, or maybe not?</p><p>or </p><p>Andrew a trans man finds out he's pregnant and doesn't exactly wants to be a father yet, soft angst and fluff ensues</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Katelyn/Aaron Minyard, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>66</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Soooo, this happened, for some reason I'm obsessed with pregnancy and birth but the omegaverse works in this fandom don't make happy and I wanted to portrait pregnancy and childbirth as realistic as possible (considering...) so well, this happened, it was supposed to be a short one short and it turned into this... so enjoy?</p><p>ALSO: I'm part of the queer community but I'm not trans so please if you read anything that's ignorant or offensive PLEASE let me now so I can fix it</p><p>Warnings: vomiting, panic attacks.<br/>The POV alternations are mark with &lt;3 so I hope it's not confusing</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Neil</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>After confirming it, they had both felt really stupid for not noticing earlier, many sings were there, but they could be attributed to many other factors and honestly, pregnancy wasn’t even on the list of possible reasons to explain what Andrew had been feeling.</p><p> </p><p>It had all started almost twelve weeks prior, Andrew and Neil were moving out from their tiny apartment to a slightly bigger apartment. Now that Andrew was finishing his second year in a Pro Exy team and Neil his first, they were both making good money, but they were focusing on paying student loans, traveling and saving money instead of living in fancy houses, so with about two months before the end of the Exy season they were moving.</p><p> </p><p>The moving process had been a lot more tiring than they had expected, fiscally but mostly mentally, it had taken a toll on both of them but specially on Andrew who seemed tired all the time. One time he had even fallen asleep on the dinner table before dinner and that had never happened before, that had been sign number one, but they had attributed it to the change in their routine and the tiring moving process combined with their challenging training regimen.</p><p> </p><p>Sing number two had been the headaches, Andrew started getting headaches at night when he read for more than an hour, he had prescription glasses that he almost never wore so they both thought his eyes were just tired and were provoking him headaches.</p><p> </p><p>The sing that alerted them had been the tenderness, and it was actually Neil and not Andrew the one who had made the connection, it had been the weekend and they had been having a lazy Sunday, still in their pijamas at 2pm, they were watching Master Chef Junior (ironically) laying on their bed when Andrew had moved uncomfortably.</p><p> </p><p>“What’s wrong?” Neil had asked absentmindedly, eyes on the tv.</p><p>“My chest feels tender” Andrew had said, he had had top surgery at the age of 19 and he was now 22, his chest hadn’t felt that tender in a long time, so that had catched Neil’s attention.</p><p>“Maybe you are about to start your period?”</p><p>“I guess, I haven’t had a period in like five o six months, but I suppose it can happen” Andrew had seemed doubtful</p><p>“Do you think it’s something else?”</p><p>“Not really, It’s just… I don’t know, something feels off” they had dropped the subject but Neil had kept thinking about it forthe rest of the evening.</p><p> </p><p>Neil had met Andrew in school when he was ten years old and Andrew was eleven, he had just moved from England with his uncle and he was the new weird kid with a funny accent. At that moment Andrew had looked a little different and had had a different name but after he had defended Neil from bullies one time when Neil had been sick they had connected and become fast friends. Nothing had been able to separate them since then.</p><p>“You’re thinking so loud I can’t hear the TV, what’s wrong?”</p><p>“Nothing” Neil had murmured, Andrew had rolled his eyes right at me moment a diapers commercial had started and then, something had clicked for Neil and Andrew had immediately noticed, probably because Neil had tensed all over.</p><p>“Seriously. What’s wrong?”</p><p>“Andrew, don’t laugh o like panic for what I’m about to ask, but, do you think there’s a possibility… that you might be pregnant?” Andrew had become a very, <em>very</em> convincing imitation of a statue in a single second.</p><p> </p><p>Now the thing was that coming from probably any other person in the world the question would have been pointless but Neil actually new a thing or two about pregnancy, you see, when he had just moved to the US with his uncle he had been a very sickly kid, turns out that been abused and neglected for the first decade of your life can really take a toll on a kid’s health so, in the first year of living with his uncle he had had a stomach bug, three colds, the flue, and actual fucking pneumonia which had led him to spend a ridiculous amount of time at the nurse’s office in school, and that’s where he had met the person that will eventually become his mother figure: Nurse Abby.</p><p> </p><p>That same year, after and incident where he had found out the hard way that he was allergic to bees, when the school had called his uncle and he had been too busy to pick Neil up from school and he had started to silently cry. Abby had reach out and consulted if she could take him home with her until his uncle was able to pick him up. That was the first of many, many afternoons at Abby’s house.</p><p> </p><p>Soon spending the afternoon and sometimes even the night at Abby’s had become a regular thing, Abby was actually friend’s with Betsy, Andrew’s mom so he also got to see his best friend more often. He loved spending his afternoons with Abby, she would make him snacks and would let him stay with her at what he called ‘Abby’s after school job’.</p><p> </p><p>Abby had had a small sort of office where she treated her ‘special patients’: pregnant women, she was a school nurse in the morning and a Midwife in the afternoon, so Neil had grown up learning a lot more about pregnancy than your average teen.</p><p> </p><p>That’s why at the moment his question to Andrew had a lot more weight than if any other person had asked.</p><p> </p><p>“Why do ask?” Andrew had answered showing false calmness</p><p>“Because of the little sings, but it might be nothing, you’ve just been really tired lately, and had headaches and just now with the tender chest feeling, I just kind of connected the dots”</p><p>“Headaches are a sign of pregnancy?” Andrew had asked in disbelieve</p><p>“Well, they can be, but it can also be that your eyes are tired, you know what! it was a dumb question, you’re on T, I don’t eve think you can get pregnant, forget it, it was stupid for me to ask”</p><p> </p><p>“I know you sometimes say really stupid things Rabbit, but with this, you wouldn’t have asked if you didn’t think it was a valid question, do you think I should take a test?”</p><p> </p><p>“It was stupid, you’re definitely are not pregnant, it was du..” Andrew had put his hand over Neil’s mouth</p><p> </p><p>“Do. You. Think. I. Should. Take. A. Test?” With Andrew’s hand still over his mouth Neil had nodded.</p><p> </p><p>And so, here they were, staring at a positive pregnancy test and feeling like the world had just stopped spinning, or maybe that it was spinning too fast. </p><p> </p><p>“Is not, when I suggested it - I didn’t think” Neil took a shaky breath “I’m sorry Drew”</p><p> </p><p>Andrew hand’t said anything since they saw the ‘pregnant’ appear, he was just standing there, in the bathroom looking at the test with out blinking and looking paler by the second. With out a world he suddenly sat on the edge of the bathtub</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry” Neil repeated</p><p>“Shut up!”</p><p> </p><p>Neil wanted to reach out a take Andrew’s hand but he knew that he wouldn’t want to be touched at the moment.</p><p> </p><p>He felt scared, terrified even but most of all Neil felt guilty, Andrew had a spent so much time working toward a positive body image, he was on T, he had had top surgery, he had legally changed his name, he had been working toward becoming his true self for so long that the possibility of ruining all of that hard work with one stupid mistake had Neil wanting to throw up with guilt.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s not your fault” Andrew said softly</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“I know what you’re thinking, and it’s not your fault, don’t pull your martyr card now, that’s not what we need”</p><p>“I know, I’m sorry” Neil sat next to Andrew “I’m here for you, through anything and everything, we’ll do whatever needs to be done, I’ll support you” Andrew silently took Neil’s hand, and he felt supremely stupid because he felt like he was being comforted by Andrew instead of the opposite </p><p>“I need time, to think, I really don’t know what I’m feeling now, I don’t, I don’t think I’m feeling anything”</p><p>“Do you need to be alone?” Neil said ready to get up but Andrew tightened his hold on his hand.</p><p>“Stay” He said and slowly put his head on Neil’s shoulder. They stayed like that for a long time.</p><p> </p><p>&lt;3</p><p> </p><p>Andrew felt cold and hot at the same time, he didn’t know how he felt, it seemed unreal that he was pregnant, when he saw the little ‘positive’ his first reaction had been disbelief because ‘boys can’t get pregnant’ and then, cold realization, he was a boy in all the ways that mattered it but his body wasn’t, no matter how hard he tried or how good he felt about himself.</p><p> </p><p>He always thought about having children as an abstract concept, like maybe when one day Neil and him would be ready they’ll adopt, what he wanted was to get a kid out of the system not bring another one to this shit show, He had never wanted to get pregnant, he knew some guys that were like him that wanted to have kids of their own but at the moment he wasn’t one of them.</p><p> </p><p>He didn’t even think you could get pregnant when you were on T, he didn’t have periods anymore, so, what the fuck had happened? Maybe they could get rid of it, but what if Neil wanted it?, it was <em>his</em> body, but the were both responsible for <em>it, </em>Andrew took a deep breath he felt kind of dizzy but maybe surprisingly he didn’t feel like crying.</p><p> </p><p>The last time he had bawled his eyes out, he had been fifteen, he had been sitting in the rooftop of his school with his head in his hands sobbing when Neil had found him, well, he hadn’t actually been ‘hiding’, then went there pretty often, he had felt Neil’s presence more than he had actually seen him, Neil had been pretty shocked, he had never seen Andrew cry before, let alone sob like that.</p><p> </p><p>“Josie?” Neil had asked softly and Andrew had flinched, Bee and Neil were the only ones allowed to call him that but for some reason he didn’t want to hear that name at the moment. His best friend got gradually closer to him looking comically worried “Can you tell me what’s wrong?”</p><p> </p><p>Andrew had felt really stupid at the moment, it was nothing important, nothing had been ‘<em>wrong</em>’ Bee had been so exited because things actually were starting to ‘normalize’ with his overall health, she had been so happy because he was finally healthier, finally reaching the ‘expected milestones’, Andrew didn’t want to reach stupid milestones.</p><p> </p><p>“I got my first period” he had gritted out and then he had sniffed loudly, he hadn’t want to have a period, it had felt somehow so wrong. So uncomfortable.</p><p>“Oh… um, right” Had been Neil incredibly smart reply, he had been such an idiot, still was. But in his defense there wasn’t much else that he could have said.</p><p> </p><p>After a few moments he had just sat next to Andrew, giving him space but offering company and Andrew that had been already feeling reckless had thrown himself into his arms. Neil had frozen for a moment but after just a heartbeat he had retuned the embrace with all of his strength, he had let Andrew sob into the soft material of his shirt until he had stop shaking and had started to take slow deep breaths like Bee had taught him.</p><p> </p><p>“Turn around?” Neil had asked softly, this was something they did sometimes, it was their private thing than nobody knew about. Sometimes when they were stressed and alone Andrew would let Neil braid his hair, he had blond locks that reached the middle of his back, he had hated it when his hair was on his face and Neil had liked to braid it. It was something that had relaxed them both, nothing else.</p><p> </p><p>So he had given his back to Neil and relaxed as he had felt his fingers work. A few minutes later he had had his hair pulled into a French braid and had probably looked less crappy, he hadn’t said thank you, but he had given Neil <em>a look</em>. “Do you wanna go get some ice cream?” That had earned Neil a punch in the gut.</p><p> </p><p>“What?!, did you read in some bullshit website that that’s what girls want when they’re on their period?”</p><p>“No? What the fuck!” Neil had asked confused “You just like ice cream and I thought you might want some, jeez you do know how to throw a punch!”</p><p>“I do”</p><p>“You do know how to throw a punch or you do want ice cream?”</p><p>“Both, come on Rabbit, I’m not waiting for your slow ass” Neil had smiled and promptly followed.</p><p> </p><p>At that moment he had felt so desolated, so defeated by something he had no control of, now he didn’t feel that way, he didn’t feel alone, he had Neil right next to him, and he knew that his Rabbit would accept whatever Andrew decided it was best.</p><p> </p><p>But that was the thing, Andrew didn’t know.</p><p> </p><p>He could think only about himself, there were too many variables involved, he couldn’t even concentrate on what the hell he was feeling because he had way too much to think about, he felt way overwhelmed, way beyond himself, before his mind could drifted more, Neil spoke.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Andrew?”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“My ass is cold” Despite everything that was happening in his mind he snorted “let’s get back to the bedroom Drew” Neil said standing up and extending a hand. Andrew took it and let himself being guided back to his room.</p><p>“Do you want to go back to bed? Maybe we can go for a walk or do you need to be alone?” Neil started to ramble restlessly Andrew just shook his head, he just wanted to think</p><p>“Do you want some hot chocolate?” Neil tried again</p><p>“Not right now”</p><p>“Yeah, okay, it’s like three pm” Neil was basically bouncing on his feet, Andrew sighed </p><p>“You should go on a run”</p><p>“What?” He stoped moving</p><p>“You should go on a run”</p><p>“Do you need me to leave?”</p><p>“Is not that Neil, you’re restless, this is clearly affecting both of us we just react different, I need to think and you need to go on a run, I won’t leave and you’ll be back. Now go Rabbit, go move your little restless rabbit feet” Neil sagged in relief</p><p>“I’ll be back in two hours tops, I’ll take my phone with me” he hurried to the door after quickly changing and then ran back to the bedroom, kissed Andrew’s forehand and whispered “I love you” Andrew pushed him away with no malice</p><p>“Go!” He smiled for a moment after Neil left but then everything felt heavy again.</p><p> </p><p>Normally when he felt overwhelmed he would try to organize his thoughts to see things in perspective so that’s what he tried to do until Neil came back just an hour later and took a really fast shower.</p><p> </p><p>“You took less time than I thought you would” Andrew commented casually</p><p>“I thought I needed to run to clear my head and it did helped a little but what I really needed was to be close to you so I came back”</p><p>“Don’t get sappy on me” Neil shrugged</p><p>“It’s the truth. How are you feeling?”</p><p>“Mostly like an idiot. How did I not realized that something so big was happening to my body?, don’t pregnant people throw up all the time and that’s how the figure out they are pregnant? Because I don’t feel pregnant, I don’t feel anything and I look the same, right?, I’m not.. showing” Andrew looked down at his stomach warily, It looked the same as always, he was a pro Exy player on T, he looked toned.</p><p>“Well, yeah, most pregnant people throw up a lot, but not all and you do look the same to me, maybe it’s just too early to tell, we should make a doctor’s appointment to confirm it and see how far along you are"</p><p>“Yeah I didn’t really think of that… and fucking Exy!, I won’t be able to play next season if I’m…” Andrew stopped talking he was getting ahead of himself</p><p>“Drew, do you… do you want to keep it? Neil asked carefully, his eyes huge.</p><p>“Do you?”</p><p>“I asked first and it’s your body”</p><p>“I know, but I didn’t make <em>it</em> all on my own, we need to make the decision together, do you want to keep it?”</p><p>“I…no, no yet?, is that a valid answer? I just feel like, even though we’re not teens anymore we’re barely adults, I don’t think is the best time, we’re just starting our careers and sure we could continue them even with a baby, but our lives would still change completely, I’m not sure I’m ready for that big of a change yet. If we have kids I want to want them you know?, I don’t ever want them to feel like they were a mistake I don’t <em>ever</em> want to be like my parents, and I also want you to enjoy it, if you get pregnant I want you to want to get pregnant, I want you to be okay with the changes your body will go throughand I don’t know if you’re mentally there, I don’t know if I’m mentally ready. But I want you to know above everything that I won’t ever pressure you to do something you don’t want, if you actually want to keep it then I’ll do my best to be the best father I can be, I’ll work through my issues and I’ll support you always… okay, that’s all I have to say” Neils hands were shaking but he kept his eyes on Andrew’s the entire time</p><p>“You’re such an idiot” Andrew sighed “I feel the same, Rabbit, I don’t feel ready yet, when I pictured us having a kid I thought we’d adopt in like ten years, not now, I don’t want our lives to change either, I like our little family the way it is now, I like our freedom and I like who I am now, I’m Andrew and I don’t know if I’m ready to be a father and not just an Andrew” Neil offered his hand and Andrew took it</p><p>“So we get rid of it?”</p><p>“Yeah, I think that’s the best option, at least right now” They were both quiet for a few moments holding each others hands tightly “How do we do this? mister Pregnancy Expert”</p><p>“We make an appointment to see how far along are you and based on that we analyze the best option”</p><p>“Sounds like a plan”.</p><p> </p><p>The appointment was set up for three days later. Andrew felt calm, for them, it was just a bundle of cells and in three days it would just be part of their history.</p><p> </p><p>When the day came. He didn’t feel calm anymore.</p><p> </p><p>He had been feeling lightheaded since the moment he woke up so Neil was driving them to the clinic, Andrew was concentrating in taking deep breaths and not thinking about what they were about to do, he hadn’t said a word since he woke up, he felt as if he his throat was stuffed with cotton.</p><p> </p><p>Andrew had eidetic memory but he could not remember how he ended up sitting in the waiting room of a clinic and got startled when a nurse called his name</p><p> </p><p>“I’m right here Drew, we’re in this together” Neil whispered before they entered the doctor’s office. Andrew squeezed his hand.</p><p> </p><p>The nurse made him routine questions and didn’t called him a woman so Andrew relaxed just a little, then the nurse told him to make himself comfortable while they waited for the actual doctor to do the ultrasound and Andrew’s breathing suddenly started to come faster, Neil eyed him worriedly but didn’t say anything.</p><p> </p><p>“Talk” Andrew gritted out, Neil started talking immediately as if he had been practicing what he was going to say</p><p>“Did you know that an ‘Ultra sound’ is a sound wave with frequencies higher than the upper audible limit of human hearing. So an Ultrasound is not different from a normal sound in its physical properties, except that humans cannot hear it and what the Ultra Sound Machine does is to show an image of the structures within the body using those high-frequency sound waves” Andrew looked at Neil in the eyes for a second and then snorted softly</p><p>“Your extensive knowledge on this kind of things it’s pretty freaky” Neil smiled</p><p>“You’re freaky” Andrew was going to answer but then the Doctor entered the room.</p><p> </p><p>“Hello, I’m doctor Green I’ll be checking on you today, it’s nice to meet you, is this the first doctor visit that you have made since finding out you were pregnant?” They both nodded “Awesome, normally we estimate how far along in the pregnancy a person is based on the time of their last menstrual period and of course the imaging that we get on the ultrasound but you’re a special case mister Dobson” She had called him ‘mister’ and with that she inadvertently gained some of Andrew’s respect “Your file says that your last period was almost six months ago, are you on T?</p><p> </p><p>“Yes”</p><p>“Testosterone usually makes your period go away but is not a contraceptive method” well.. evidently Andrew bitterly thought. “Right now we’ll perform an ultrasound to determine how far along you are and the state of the fetus, all right?, lift your shirt please, I’m going to apply a cold gel on your abdomen” She was all business and Andrew really liked that about her, He lifted his shirt slowly and took a deep breath, then searched for Neil’s hand. After a really annoying static sound a rapid beating sound filled the room, Andrew’s own heart started to beat really fast, Neil squeezed his hand.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s the baby’s heartbeat, it’s sounds healthy” She said with a polite smile “And there it is, if you look here there’s the legs, you can tell it’s moving quite a bit, here’s the arms, the head…” She stopped talking for a few seconds and let them watch</p><p> </p><p>“Drew!” Neil said in wonder. That was not at all what they had imagined it would be like, they thought it will be an formless blob, not… this</p><p>“It, it looks like a baby” Andrew said breathlessly, Doctor Green chuckled</p><p>“Yeah, that’s what it is. Were you expecting an alien?”</p><p>“No” Neil said dumbly “We just thought… How far along is he already?</p><p>“Well, I’d say that by the size of the fetus, the movement and the overall development, eleven to twelve weeks” That’s was three fucking months already, how did he not realize that he had been pregnant for THREE MONTHS, what they were looking at did not look like a bundle of cells it look like a tiny person, moving around, inside of him</p><p>“I-I can’t feel it, it’s moving so much but I don’t feel anything”</p><p>“That’s normal the fetus is too tiny for you to feel it, right now it’s abut the size of a passion fruit, you’ll be able to feel it moving possibly around week eight-teen, a bit early if you know what you’re looking for”</p><p> </p><p>The doctor proceeded to keep explaining measurements and other technicalities but Andrew had stopped listening, he couldn’t take away his eyes from the screen, his heart was beating so fast in his chest that it seemed to match the baby’s, he realized his hands were shaking when he felt Neil squeeze his hand gently, Andrew tore his eyes from the screen to look at his boyfriend, Neil looked pretty lightheaded himself.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay, all done, I’ll print a few pictures for you, come with me to the office please, you can take a sit if you want to, I still have a few questions” The doctor said, Andrew let go of Neils hand to sit up but took it back right after, he needed the comfort of the contact, he was starting to feel overwhelmed.</p><p> </p><p>“The baby looked pretty good, everything looked normal, your file says you’re a professional Exy Player?” He nodded “You won’t be able to play for the time being, however you are allowed and encouraged to keep exercising, but only low impact kind of exercise, you should elevate your calorie intake, eat healthy of course, you’re not allowed to eat raw food so no sushi, no smoking or drinking” Andrew was franticly recalling all of the times that he had played Exy in the last three months he was terrified that an Exy ball might’ve hurt the baby somehow but the doctor had said everything looked good.</p><p> </p><p>“How have you been feeling mister Dobson?, it’s not so common for a person to wait until the end of the first trimester to have their first prenatal appointment ”</p><p>“Normal” He simply answered</p><p>“No morning sickness, tiredness, sensitivity to smells, tight feeling around the belly?”</p><p>“I had been more tired but I haven’t had morning sickness or any thing like that, I should have notice before, I could have hurt it playing Exy, lifting weights, I didn’t know, and I don’t look pregnant at all, is that normal?, is there something wrong?”</p><p>“Every thing looked completely normal, yours is a very special case, you’re a professional athlete, a pretty muscular man, that’s why you’re not showing yet, but nothing is wrong, every body is different, don’t feel bad about not noticing because everything is okay, just take care of yourself from now on, I’ll give you a list of the things you should be doing and a list of things you can’t do, and we’ll set the date for your next appointment” Andrew nodded numbly and in no time they were back on there car.</p><p> </p><p>Once they were in the safety of their own car Andrew started to get really overwhelmed, his breath started to come faster and faster, his hands where shaking and his vision started to blur, he wasn’t just pregnant, he was three months pregnant and he hadn’t been taking care of himself, he had played Exy and lifted heavy things, he had pulled all nighters and…</p><p><br/>
“Andrew!” He heard Neil’s voice from fay away like he was under water, he knew he wasn’t breathing right but he couldn’t stop thinking about all the things that he had been doing wrong for the paste three months “Andrew <em>breathe” </em>he felt a hand on his arm and violently jerked away “I won’t touch you Drew, I’m sorry but I need you to breathe, you are having a panic attack, you need to breathe” Andrew tried, really tried to breathe but he just couldn’t, white dots started to appear on the edges of his vision “Andrew, you need to take a deep breath I can’t have you passing out on me right now, you’re okay, you heard the doctor, everything is okay, you’re healthy, the… the baby is healthy, you did nothing wrong, everything is fine, take a deep breath, okay, good, another one, awesome Drew, you’re doing really good, another one” Neil kept speaking softly and Andrew started to slowly calm down, he took a few conscious breaths and noticed that his car door was opened and Neil was knelling in front of him at arms reach but not touching him.</p><p> </p><p>He then just realized that he had both hands protectively placed on top of his belly. And before his breathing started to accelerate again he threw himself at Neil’s open arms that were ready to catch him, he started to rub his back soothingly</p><p> </p><p>“You’re okay Drew, another deep breath, you’re both okay, just breathe” They stayed in that position for a few more minutes until Andrew felt well enough to go, once they were both back in the car there was a tense silence, neither of them moved, they were still at the clinic’s parking-lot</p><p> </p><p>“Neil, I don’t think I’ll be able to get rid of it” Andrew mumbled</p><p>“Yeah”</p><p>“I didn’t expected it to be so… so much like a baby, I didn’t know I was so far along already”</p><p>“I know, I felt the same”</p><p>“I really don’t want to be father yet”</p><p>“Me neither, Drew”</p><p>“I don’t want to resent being a father and I don’t want to regret getting rid of it. What do we do?” Neil seemed to really think about it.</p><p>“I know this is nobody’s business but ours, but… maybe we should talk to Bee, she’s always levelheaded and you know, she’s your mom, she’ll never judge you and she always gives good advise”</p><p>“Jeez, when did you become mature enough to suggest something like that?”</p><p>“Oh fuck you!” Neil said smiling “You’re the one that taught me that it was okay to reach out for help when you really need it”</p><p>“Yeah, we should probably call her”</p><p> </p><p>And so they did, and went back home. Actually like the incredibly efficient woman that his mom was, she was already there waiting for them when they arrived.</p><p> </p><p>Once they were inside, Neil guided them to the living room</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll make some tea, so we can talk” Neil said and went into the kitchen, after some unimportant conversation Neil got back and the atmosphere suddenly turned heavy so Andrew just ripped the band-aid</p><p> </p><p>“I’m pregnant” Luckily his mom was sitting because she might’ve had fallen otherwise, Andrew himself felt so weird saying it out loud for the first time “It obviously wasn’t planned and we were actually going to get rid of it, but I got an ultrasound today and, it changed… things, we, we didn’t realize on time and I’m already twelve weeks” His mom was utterly shocked but she was keeping herself calm at least on the outside.</p><p> </p><p>“We don’t thing we’ll be able to get rid of it but we don’t want to be parents yet, and we don’t know what to do” Andrew could see his mom posture change and he realized she already had a solution</p><p> </p><p>“Have you thought about adoption?”</p><p>“What?!” Neil bursted angrily “You think we should put a baby in the system after everything that happened to Andrew, are you insane?!”</p><p>“No” She answered calmly “That’s not what I meant, I would never willingly let a child suffer, not even for the wellbeing of my own son. Adoption doesn’t always mean to adopt an child from the system, sometimes when a pregnant person decides to give his child for a adoption they get to sort of ‘choose' the best option, they get to meet them and there are many adoption options like ‘open adoption’ where you’ll be able to be in the kids life”</p><p>Neil was still eyeing his mom warily</p><p>“But, no matter how many files you review you can’t be sure the baby will be safe if you don’t actually know the ‘adopters’” Neil said in a tight voice</p><p>“What if you do know them?”</p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p>“Do you remember Emilia, Emilia Guerrero? Neil seemed confused but Andrew immediately knew who his mother was talking about</p><p>“Fernanda’s sister” Fernanda Guerrero had been his psychiatrist from when he was a traumatized ten year old to when he was almost eighteen and had moved for college, she was a bit younger than his mom and she had a little sister; Emilia</p><p>“Millie?” Neil asked Andrew</p><p>“Yeah”</p><p>“Millie’s name is Emilia?!”</p><p>“I’m literally impressed at how dense you can be, What did you think Millie’s name was?</p><p>“Well… Millie!” Andrew resisted the urge to hit his stupid boyfriend, and instead he asked kind of in awe</p><p>“Emilia wants to adopt?” She was only four years older than him and had actually gone to the same high school, when Andrew had been twelve she was probably the coolest person he knew, she was a badass girl, once he had broken a bully’s nose with one punch and when the teacher had asked why she had done it being the ‘nice girl she was’ her response had been: ‘because you can’t fix <em>everything</em> with therapy’, Andrew really liked her.</p><p>“We had dinner at her new house last year!” Neil said suddenly</p><p>“Yeah, she’s been wanting to adopt for a few years now, but it can be a long process” his mom added</p><p>“I didn’t know she couldn’t have kids” Andrew mumbled mostly to himself</p><p>“Oh no, she can, but Graham and her decided to adopt” Andrew felt suddenly lightheaded, Emilia was someone he had known and trusted for more than a decade, she was now and architect and her husband was a pediatrician, they still kept in contact and Andrew still thought she was pretty badass.</p><p> </p><p>He placed his hand on his stomach consciously for the first time since finding out he was pregnant, he was feeling really vulnerable at the moment but he was with the two persons that he felt the safest with, so he asked:</p><p> </p><p>“Do you thing Emilia would want this baby, do you think she would want <em>my</em> baby?</p><p>“Andrew” His mom said with her voice full of emotion “I don’t think anything could make her happier” And for the first time since all of this crazy shit started Andrew felt like he actually could do this. He immediately searched for Neil’s eyes, only to discover that he was already watching him and was smiling</p><p>“It’s a yes for me, Drew, we know her, but most importantly I know you trust her, so it’s a yes for me” He whispered only for him</p><p>“Mom, do you think we should call her?”</p><p>“Sure, but, maybe you guys should think about your options for a little longer, it’s a very big decision after all”</p><p>Andrew looked at Neil, all he could see was love and relieve “I know it’s sudden but it feels right” Neil said</p><p>“I don’t want to wait” Andrew told his mother so she nodded encouragingly and he facetime Millie.</p><p> </p><p>She almost immediately picked up </p><p> </p><p>“Hello! It’s non other than my favorite little monster” She said sweetly.</p><p> </p><p>When Andrew had been around thirteen other kids in his school had started to call him ‘Monster girl’, at the beginning he had hated it, but then one day after Emilia had rudely defended him she had told him afterwards: ‘Don’t let their stupid words affect you!, embrace them, labels shouldn’t make us devalue ourselves, they should help us discover who we are, so let them call you monster and be the scariest one, the one that is not intimidated by anything or anyone, show them how strong you are, show them how big of a monster you can be’, after that, he hadn’t mind the name so much anymore, it actually had stuck and Andrew had thought it sounded pretty cool.</p><p> </p><p>“Hello Millie” Emilia immediately picked up on the mood of the call and sobered up instantly</p><p>“Is everything okay, Andrew?” She asked, concerned</p><p>“Yeah, um, I wanted to ask you something” Andrew wasn’t the kind of person who stumbled on his words but he was feeling specially nervous “Mom told me you’ve been trying to adopt for a few years now”</p><p>“Yes, are you guys thinking about adoption?, I can help you with whatever you need!”</p><p>“Not exactly”</p><p>“Oh, then what do you need boy?, what am I good for?”</p><p>“I’m pregnant Millie, and Neil and I are not ready to be parents yet, so we were wondering if you want to be a mom, we were wondering if you wanted to adopt this baby, my baby”</p><p> </p><p>There was a moment of absolute silence and then a sudden gasp</p><p> </p><p>“Are you joking?” Emilia asked incredulously, Andrew stared at her blankly</p><p>“Of course not”</p><p>“Andrew, oh my God!” She said and promptly bursted into tears, in only a few seconds she started sobbing, Andrew looked up at Neil unsure of what to do when a scream startled them “Graham!, get in here” She yelled, her husband entered the room in a hurry and immediately checked on her, when she babbled the news he started sobbing as well while Andrew and Neil stared at the screen, Andrew was glad he had ask over the phone.</p><p>“So, it that a yes?” He asked after a few minutes of exited cries</p><p>“Andrew” Emilia said sniffling “<em>Nothing</em> could make us happier, you’re giving us something invaluable that our souls have wanted for so long, It would be an honor for us to be the parents of your baby. Andrew, Neil, we can’t not express to you how happy you’ve made us, we’ll be the best parents your baby can have, and the fact that it’s yours makes it a thousand times more special” She started sobbing again while her husband hugged her tightly.</p><p> </p><p>At that point his mom was openly crying and even Neil was looking all misty eyed, he was feeling a little chocked up as well so he let himself be hugged by his mom even though he was actually taller than her. They ended the call soon after with the promise of starting the legal paper work in the up coming weeks.</p><p> </p><p>That night when they got to bed, something seemed to have shifted, he still felt pretty overwhelm and they still had a lot to do and a lot to think about but he felt so much more calm, he looked up at Neil that was getting ready for bed</p><p> </p><p>“Do you think we made the right decision?”</p><p>“Yes Drew, do you?”</p><p>“Yes”</p><p>“Things are really going to change in the next six months”</p><p>“I know” he said and placed a hand on his tummy, it was so bizarre to think that he was actually pregnant</p><p>“Can I?” Neil asked softly, hand raised, Andrew nodded and Neil softly pressed his hand on his belly right next to his own hand “I’m in for the ride if you are, I’ll be right by your side the whole time”</p><p>“I know” Andrew repeated it, and he did, since the moment they had become friends, Neil had been by his side, he hadn’t fail him once, they had stuck together through out all of their trauma and their troubles and all those hard times, they had manage to overcome everything together and now they were going to go through a new and different stage in life that even though neither of them had expected they were sure and at peace with their decision and Andrew knew that they could take this new challenge and face it together.</p><p> </p><p>So when Neil finally got into bed and drew Andrew close, he felt light and secure in his arms and let himself drift to sleep knowing that no matter how challenging the next months were going to be, they had each other and that was more than enough.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>telling the family!, name reveal!, gender reveal!, so much fluff! so much love!</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Helloooo it's still Thursday where I live!, I've had such a busy day!!! anyway! enjoy :D</p><p> </p><p>TW: vomiting, panic attacks, references to Andrew's past in a dream it's VERY subtle and short but if you want to skip it it's marked with - - - - - - - at beginning and at the end </p><p>Also, POV changes are marked with &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It had been three days since they had decided to continue with Andrew’s pregnancy and those three days had been vastly different from the last three months.</p><p>Neil wasn’t sure if it was a psychological thing o what the fuck it was but for the last three days Andrew had felt like shit, from the very first day after they had talked to Millie, Andrew had been feeling lightheaded.</p><p>The first morning (looking vaguely disgusted) he had refused to have breakfast, the second day he had looked kinda green after Neil had shaved and he had told him that his aftershave lotion suddenly smelled terrible even though it was the same aftershave lotion that he had been using sine he was nineteen and the third day he had just told Neil that he wanted to just puke already because that had to be better than feeling nauseous all day and having nothing happening. </p><p>Now in the morning of the fourth day Andrew’s wishes seemed to be coming true, Neil woke up with the delightful sound of Andrew retching in the bathroom, he immediately followed just to find Andrew hunched in front of the toilet puking his guts out.</p><p>He gently rubbed his back and mumbled calming nonsense while Andrew emptied his stomach. He shakily sat on his knees when he was done, he seemed to be making a very realistic impersonation of a ghost. Neil offered him a glass of water that he drank way to fast so in no time he was puking it right back out, Neil rubbed his back patiently, until Andrew was done again<br/>
“All puked out?” He asked softly<br/>
“I think so”<br/>
“Okay sweetheart, let's get you back to bed” Andrew must have been feeling just awful to not even protest at the pet name, he let himself being guided back to bed. </p><p>Neil glanced at the clock, it was almost six am, the time that he usually woke up for his morning run, he knew he wasn’t going to run that day, he wasn’t going to leave Andrew feeling like shit, but he could bring him a package of salted crackers and a glass of water for later, he was about to go to the kitchen when a hand flew to his wrist. </p><p>“Stay” Andrew said, and his voice broke “Don’t go on a run today, Neil” he asked and promptly bursted in to tears.</p><p>Neil was shocked for a few seconds, he wasn’t sure he remembered the last time that Andrew had cried, so he jumped right into action. </p><p>“It’s okay, Drew” He said while laying back down next to Andrew, he immediately clutched at his shirt and buried his face on his chest “I’m right here, I’m not going anywhere” </p><p>Andrew started sobbing somehow quietly and Neil cradled his head and kissed his forehead. Pregnancy usually made people very emotional, and Neil had actually started to think that Andrew was immune to all the hormones because he hadn’t shed a single tear since finding out he was pregnant even though they had had an extremely emotional week and even Neil himself had cried just a little bit already, but it seemed like everything was caching up to Andrew right then. </p><p>“Everything is finally weighing on you, huh?” Andrew shook his head, Neil chuckled softly “No? Are you sure?” Andrew nodded, and then, after a pause, he shrugged and continued sobbing “It’s okay, let it all out, it’s okay to feel whatever you’re feeling Drew, I’ve got you” He repeated over and over until Andrew’s sobs were reduced to soft sniffles<br/>
“I feel like shit” He announced<br/>
“Still feeling nauseous?”<br/>
“Yeah” he said in a small voice<br/>
“Try to take a few deep breaths, is not even seven yet, maybe you can sleep some more, and hopefully you’ll feel better after you wake up, and then I’ll get you something light for breakfast, sounds good?” Andrew nodded again and took a few deep breaths, he still looked extremely pale.</p><p>After a few minutes of deep breaths he started to slowly relax, Neil kept gently massaging his scalp until he was sure Andrew had gone back to sleep and then kept massaging some more.<br/>
He was very much awake since it was his usual get up time so he didn’t try to fall back asleep, instead he watched Andrew’s features carefully for any sing of discomfort but he seemed to be resting peacefully.</p><p>Neil was trying really really hard not feel guilty about Andrew feeling like shit, otherwise he was going to be feeling guilty for the next six months, he’d liked to think that he knew more about pregnancy than the average person so he knew that things were just going to get harder for Andrew. Neil knew he gained nothing by feeling guilty but old habits died hard.</p><p>What he could do was being there for Andrew every step of the way, because he knew it was going to be a bumpy ride.</p><p>Neil also knew they were not alone in this, they had Andrew’s mom, and Abby and Coach, Abby had been there for him since the moment she met him and coach as well, he had been the first male adult that Neil had willingly given a hug, actually Neil was pretty sure he was the only one, even if their first hug had been somewhat of a tragic situation.</p><p>When he had just turned fourteen Abby had been in a car crash, she had to be hospitalized and had to undergo a three hour surgery. Neil had been a mess, he had been scared shitless. He had already lost his mom and it had seemed like he was going to loose Abby as well, so he had been pacing the hospital hallways on the verge of a panic attack, when Coach had stopped him to help him calm down “She’s really strong kiddo, everything’s going to be fine, she won’t leave you and neither will I” he had told him and Neil that already been feeling hopeless and reckless had thrown himself into his arms and had started sobbing, Coach had hug him tightly until Neil had let go an undeterminable amount of time later, then he had covered him with his jacket and had sat with him for hours. Even though Coach wasn’t a soft person in any way Neil had felt secure and cared for and in the hours that he had had his head on Coach’s shoulder he realized that he trusted an adult man for the first time in his life. </p><p>They had never abandoned him, not when Neil thought he was an unlovable piece of trash at the age of eleven, not when Neil had told them where he came from and not even when Coach had discovered that he was Kevin’s father, then, instead of loosing his parental figures he had gained a friend that would become his brother. </p><p>So Neil knew they weren’t alone by any means, they were actually going to tell Abby, Coach and Kevin about the pregnancy in their monthly dinner the following week and they were going to ask Abby for every possible advice on pregnancy since she was the expert.</p><p>Neil smiled to himself, he couldn’t wait to tell his Abby, she wasn’t his mom, she was better that his mother could ever hope to be, she was his Abby. </p><p>Neil must’ve dozed off as well, because the next thing he knew was that Andrew was stirring next to him, he glanced at the clock, it was eight thirty. </p><p>Andrew looked more relaxed but still kind of pale, he blinked groggily. </p><p>“Hey Drew, how are you feeling?”<br/>
“A bit less shitty but still nauseous” Andrew mumbled and rubbed his eyes that were puffy from the sleeping and the crying<br/>
“Do you want to take a shower while I make breakfast?” Andrew scrunched up his nose<br/>
“I don’t know if I’ll be able to keep it down”<br/>
“I’ll make something light, sweetheart” Neil said.</p><p>Andrew used to hate pet names but Neil fought hard and for a long time to earn the right to call Andrew with endearments so if Andrew had the right to call him Rabbit (and sometimes Bunny) Neil had the right to call him sweetheart.</p><p>Neil quickly made the bed and went to the kitchen when a little shit of paper held by a magnet on the fridge called his attention </p><p>“Well, fuck” he mumbled to himself and continued making breakfast, Andrew was probably going to freak a little with the ‘news’ that Neil had but that could wait until after they had eaten.</p><p>After a few minutes Andrew came into the kitchen looking a lot better, the shower had freshen him a lot and he didn’t look so pale anymore but the second he spotted Neil he narrowed his eyes.</p><p>“What’s wrong?” Andrew asked warily<br/>
“Nothing, let’s eat” Neil said faking calmness.</p><p>Andrew obviously didn’t move an inch. </p><p>“Spit it out, Josten”<br/>
“We forgot Aaron and Kate are coming for lunch today” Andrew instantly went pale again… great. </p><p>Neil objectively knew Andrew technically didn't forget anything but when you have such a crazy and busy week as the one they have had, you tended to put the less urgent things in the back of your mind. So yeah, they had forgotten. </p><p>“We can tell them you’re sick” He suggested “We don’t even have to see them today, and if we do, we don’t have to tell them anything” They hadn’t planed to tell their friends about the pregnancy yet, they wanted to get to use to the idea themselves first, and yes, Aaron was family but his relationship with Andrew was rocky at best. </p><p>Tilda Minyard had delivered a set of fraternal twins, a boy and a girl, she had given the girl up and had kept the boy, because boys grow up to be the head of their homes, boys grow up to provide and girls, even now, meant less.</p><p>At least that’s what Tilda had thought, she had gotten rid of the girl, and Andrew had resent Aaron for a long time, because he got to stay, he got to have a mom, a somewhat normal childhood, he had everything Andrew wanted, just because he was a boy. </p><p>The first decade of Andrew’s life had been hell, Betsy had started fostering him at the age of ten, and even-though she was everything Andrew had ever wanted in a mom, he had gone to her as a traumatized ten year old that couldn’t be touched, had night terrors every night, had really bad trust issues and had to deal with aggressive self-destructive behavior. So when he met Aaron he hadn’t wanted anything to do with him.</p><p>On the other hand Aaron had resented Andrew because he got adopted by the perfect mom while poor little Aaron had to deal with Tilda, then when Aaron had originally reached out, Andrew had told him to fuck off and that also hurt him.</p><p>His relationship had gotten vastly better over the years, but it was still strained, he had struggled with Andrew being trans and Andrew being into Neil so Neil basically didn’t really liked him all that much, he was kind of an asshole. So if Andrew didn’t want to tell him about the pregnancy then Neil could only be supportive. </p><p>“You don’t have to pressure yourself Drew” Neil said<br/>
“I know I don’t. We should just tell them now, It’s not like I’m trying yo hide it and we don’t know when we’ll be able to see them in person again, we might as well just tell them, I don’t care how they take the news anyway” Neil knew Andrew very much cared but he remained silent, he was going to support his partner’s decision.<br/>
“Okay then, do you want to go with me to get the ingredients for dinner?” Neil was going to try a new recipe that Abby had suggested that was actually stuck on the refrigerator with magnets<br/>
“Sure” he said and so they pretended Andrew didn’t care while they shopped and while they cooked but when the bell rang, Neil saw Andrew tensed like a cat. Neil sent his boyfriend an encouraging smile and went to open the door. </p><p>Now, Neil didn’t really like Aaron but Kate was a completely different story, unlike her bland poor boyfriend she was loud, smart and funny, she was also a red head which amused Neil to no end, even he, being as oblivious as he was, could tell that Kate and him were very much alike even if the twins refused to acknowledge they had a similar type, so he greeted Aaron with a dry “Hello” and let himself be hugged by Kate.</p><p>The couple had brought Andrew’s favorite dessert so at least they earned themselves a few brownie points before a very possible fall out. </p><p>Once they started eating Neil noticed that Andrew wasn’t really eating as much as he was moving his food around with his fork, he was also starting to look pale again, Neil squeezed his hand under the table and Andrew gave him a pained look, he subtlety asked </p><p>“Are you feeling sick again?”<br/>
“The pork smells really, really strong, it’s making me dizzy” He whispered and then got up in a sudden movement “Bathroom” He mumbled and practically ran away, Aaron eyed him warily<br/>
“Is he okay?” Katelyn asked with genuine worry, Neil bit his lip, he didn’t know what to say<br/>
“I’m going to go check on him, I’ll be right back” He hurriedly said and followed Andrew.</p><p>He found the blond sitting on their bed taking deep breaths </p><p>“Did you puke again, sweetheart?” He asked, concerned<br/>
“No, I just had to get away from the smell, I’m better now” he took a few more breaths and asked “What did you tell them?”<br/>
“Just that I was going to check on you, do you want to tell them now?” Andrew shrugged, they might as well “Okay, let’s go” </p><p>When they got back Neil ushered them to the living room, away from the offensive smell and Andrew unceremoniously said</p><p>“I’m pregnant”<br/>
“So subtle!” Neil coughed</p><p>Aaron completely froze on the spot, eyes huge and face drained of color, the first one to react was Katelyn (of course, fucking Aaron) </p><p>“Congratulations!” She said, a little stunt “How far along are you?”<br/>
“A little over twelve weeks” Neil said, since the twins were having a silent staring contest<br/>
“How.. how many?” Aaron managed to ask<br/>
“Twelve” Neil repeated and refrained himself from saying ‘duh’<br/>
“N-no, I meant, How many babies are you carrying?”<br/>
“One?” Neil said a little confused, what kind of question was that<br/>
“Not twins” Andrew finally spoke up, oh. That’s what he had meant<br/>
“Oh, um, okay, congratulations, both of you” He said looking dumb<br/>
“We’re giving it up for adoption” Aaron looked like he had sucked on a really sour lemon but thankfully didn’t say any stupid… yet.<br/>
“Do you know what kind of adoption would you prefer?” Kate cleverly asked<br/>
“Yes, we’re opting for open adoption with a couple we’ve known and trusted for more than a decade<br/>
“Oh, I’m very happy for you guys, you’re both very brave” She said sweetly Aaron just nodded looking lost. Andrew luckily seemed a bit more relaxed<br/>
“What are about Exy?<br/>
“What about it?” Andrew dead panned “I’m taking a paternity leave and coming back next season”<br/>
“Right” Was Aaron great response<br/>
“How have you been feeling?” Kate asked and from then on conversation came easier and time flew, soon it was time for them to leave. </p><p>And even-though nobody was going to ever talk about it, when the twins said their good byes they hugged for far to longer than necessary, and maybe, just maybe Aaron wasn’t so bad after all. </p><p>That night, when they got to bed Andrew had a small smile on his face and Neil felt pretty content. </p><p>The next day they called their coach and as soon as Coach Vazquez started yelling, Andrew hung up on him and refused to call again, so all in all it had gone well.</p><p>By Wednesday, the day that they were having dinner at Abby’s Andrew had been constantly throwing up every day, at seemingly any time, morning sickness Neil’s ass,  Andrew was drowsy and nauseous and miserable all the time.</p><p>He had had three months of virtually no symptoms and then suddenly a week of hell, but he was being a trooper or more like he was pretending everything was fine and that was supposed to be Neil’s not so good trait and not Andrew’s but at least he had let Neil support him and he was very grateful for that. </p><p>Right now they were on their way to Abby’s house, Neil was driving and Andrew was  starting to look increasingly pale</p><p>“Drew? Are you getting car sick?”<br/>
“No” Andrew gritted out, clearly lying<br/>
“Okay, just let me know if you need me to stop to take a breather”<br/>
“I don’t” Right, Andrew looked about 3 seconds from puking so Neil stoped at a random gas station, the blond eyed him suspiciously<br/>
“I’m just going to get something for dessert, do you want something?”<br/>
“Red Gatorade” Andrew mumbled clearly knowing what Neil was doing but not saying anything about it.</p><p>Neil took his time on the small store, giving Andrew time to collect himself, he also grabbed Andrew’s favorite chocolate and some water bottles.</p><p>When he came back Andrew had his head back, his eyes closed and was taking slow deep breaths. Neil knew he made the right choice. </p><p>“Here” he said and gave Andrew his Gatorade, he started taking small sips but he did looked much better already<br/>
“Not a word” He said not looking at Neil so he didn’t say anything because if he had learned something in the week that they’d known Andrew was pregnant was that you don’t argue with a pregnant person, they’re simply always right.</p><p>The rest of the ride was calm and quiet, Andrew sipped on his gatorade and munched on his chocolate bar, he was wearing black joggers and an oversized dark gray hoodie, he looked pretty comfy. Before his top surgery he used to wear a lot of oversize clothing so Neil thought he could get away with wearing those clothes for the better part of his pregnancy, they would probably have to buy some better fitting pants in a few weeks but they were good for now.  </p><p>Once they arrived to Abby’s Andrew was starting to look sleepy, Neil gave him a soft smile but didn’t say anything, if he called Andrew ‘cute’ he would probably get punched.</p><p>“You’re thinking dumb shit” Andrew mumbled, Neil laughed and got out of the car to knock on the door.</p><p>Kevin opened the door and gave Neil a one arm manly hug and flipped his finger at Andrew who punched him in the shoulder, they smiled at each other while Neil rolled his eyes. </p><p>Kevin and Andrew had become close friends in their first year of college when they had share a dorm while Neil was still in high school. </p><p>“Abby is making Neil’s favorite, because he’s the favorite child, of course” Kevin announced<br/>
“I have no favorites” Came Abby’s voice from the kitchen “I made your favorite last family dinner”<br/>
“Don’t worry Neil, she’s just saying that to make Kev feel better, you’r clearly the favorite” Andrew stage whispered and Kevin gave an indignant ‘Hey!’ When they passed him in their way to the kitchen<br/>
“Hello boys” Abby said smiling warmly, Neil immediately hugged her, he wanted to tell her about the pregnancy so badly “Oh wow, what a nice greeting, are you trying to actually become the favorite child?” She joked.<br/>
“Are the midgets here yet?” They heard Coach say before Neil could answer, “I’m starving” </p><p>After all the greetings and Neil’s favorite pasta dish. It was time. </p><p>“Are you finally going to tell us what’s bothering you?” Coach asked gruffly<br/>
“David!” Abby admonished him<br/>
“What?, he’s been making the entire table bounce with his jittery leg since we started eating” Neil flushed and Andrew smirked at him<br/>
“Well, we do have something to tell you, It’s nothing bad so don’t worry, but, um, listen to the entire thing first and then, um, react… okay, well, Andrew’s pregnant, but we’re not, not going to be parents yet, we’re not ready and it’s not what we want at the moment so we’re giving the baby up for adoption, the couple who’s taking the baby are Millie and Grant… okay yeah, I think that’s all” </p><p>There was a moment of silence broken by Abby loudly sniffing, without saying a word she got up and went to hug Neil and Andrew at the same time while she repeated ‘my boys’ over and over, Neil returned her hug fiercely, when they separated Coach spoke;</p><p>“I’m happy for you guys, and I’m happy that you are making and adult and responsible decision, we’re all here for you, any time for whatever you need, you guys are family and you have all of our support” He was starting to sound chocked up so he didn’t say more, Kevin as emotionally stunt as he was, was openly crying<br/>
“Yeah, what dad said” He mumbled and everybody laughed. </p><p>Now they were sitting on the backyard having ice cream, and Abby was asking a thousand questions and also clearing up any doubts that they had about pregnancy, Neil knew some of the stuff but they were learning a whole lot. </p><p>“Have you thought about the birth?” Abby asked, Neil hadn’t but Andrew nodded<br/>
“A bit, I’m still getting used to the idea of being pregnant but yeah, I have, I was going to look for birth videos the other day but I decided against it”<br/>
“You still have a lot of time, nearly six months to decide how you want to go about it, so no rush”<br/>
“there’s a lot more things that I have to think about first, in my next doctor’s appointment I have an anatomy scan?, and we started all of the paperwork with the adoption agency, there’s just… a lot”<br/>
“I know, but I’m here if you have any questions, I can recommend you some good books about pregnancy and give you some homemade recipes and tricks to help with the nausea”<br/>
“I would like that, thank you Abby” Andrew said with a small smile, and somehow he looked soft, in his comfy clothes sitting in a blanket having a popsicle and talking to Abby, he looked content with himself.</p><p>Andrew had gone through a long journey to accept himself and love himself for just being who he was and Neil was so happy to see him happy, he was a men who’s body was able to carry a baby and he had been so accepting of himself. Neil didn’t know if he would be able to do something like that, he admired Andrew so much, he was so proud of him.</p><p>“I love you” He said with out realizing he had said it in front of everyone, Kevin snorted and Andrew’s cheeks tinted pink and he glared at Neil but he simply smiled dumbly at his partner<br/>
“You’re and idiot” Andrew said, and after a pause, softer “I love you too”.</p><p>&lt;3</p><p>The next three weeks passed in a blur, Exy summer training began for Neil but not for Andrew, he was still part of the team even if he couldn’t play so on the days he felt good he would go with Neil to the gym and did a light workout that was safe and allowed and on the days he woke up puking and feeling like shit Neil would stay with him (forgoing his run) and he would mumble soothing words and they would cuddle in bed until it was time for Neil to get up and even then he would bring Andrew ginger tea and salted crackers to bed to make Andrew feel a bit better. </p><p>Now that he had all this free time he had dedicated himself to fix the little things that needed fixing in their apartment, some burned lightbulb, some loose handle, he deep cleaned the entire apartment, he bought new carpets and some lamps, he worked on making their new apartment a home and it consumed a lot more time that he originally thought but he was pretty happy with the results and Neil was pretty impressed.</p><p>He was also putting his English Lit degree to use, he was co-writing a book with his mom. They had always been close but with this shared experience they were getting to know each other even better and the experience along with the pregnancy was bringing them even closer. </p><p>All in all he was having a good pregnancy, he did have some unpleasant symptoms but nothing like the horror stories he had read and watched videos about, he was also starting to show a bit more now that he was approaching the sixteenth week mark, and he wasn’t... bothered by it, he had thought that he was going to feel dysphoric and uncomfortable but he actually felt kind of in awe of what his body was capable of, he felt lucky that he got to feel that way. </p><p>Despite things being okay and even really good in his life there were bad days, and he was having a really bad day, Neil was out of town in the first away game of the season so he was alone when he woke up just to puke his guts out and there was no Neil to cuddle with him and bring him tea to bed to make him feel better. </p><p>From the first day his mom had started to foster him he had been loved yet he hadn’t been spoiled, but now that he was pregnant Neil had been spoiling him rotten and Andrew didn’t realize until the moment he was alone sitting in his bathroom floor feeling like absolute shit. </p><p>He wanted to call Neil so bad but he knew that with all the pregnancy hormones he would probably just end up crying and making his partner feel bad, he had already been hesitant to go even knowing there was nothing to worry about, he was pregnant not sick even if at the moment it didn’t feel that way.</p><p>After he peeled himself from the bathroom floor he went to have breakfast but couldn’t find anything appetizing so he didn’t eat, he had to drink a fuck ton of water because that same day he had to go to the clinic for his sixteen week check up with a full bladder which he was not looking forward to,  he would also have to get some blood drawn for a triple screen test which he was pretty nervous about, even though there were just routine tests that every pregnant person had to get, he wasn’t a fan of needles and he didn’t want to be alone for the whole process.</p><p>He knew his mom or Millie would be thrilled to go with him but he was having a bad brain day and he didn’t know if could stomach anyone that wasn’t Neil.</p><p>Even knowing that it was the wrong decision, he went to his doctor’s appointment alone.</p><p>Thankfully everything seemed fine with the baby, he had gained the normal amount of weight he was supposed to even if he was worried because his belly seemed so tiny compared to other people that were also sixteen weeks pregnant, the doctor had just said that he had a lot of muscle and a small frame and that everything looked normal, he got to see his baby again and was told he would start to feel it move in the upcoming weeks, the doctor was also able to tell the gender of the baby.</p><p>Andrew had asked her to write it down and put it on an envelope for him because he didn’t want to found out without Neil, so now he was sitting in his car feeling slightly nauseous with an envelope in his hands.</p><p>Gender for him was a touchy subject, he had been assigned ‘female’ at birth but that wasn’t who he was, what if they got this baby’s gender wrong as well?, some people didn’t really cared about gender but Andrew did, he liked that he could say he was male, he was a men, being a man was a big part of his identity he didn’t want to rob this baby of his identity, it had taken a really long time for Andrew to realize who he really was, some people knew their entire lives and some other needed more time to find themselves but Andrew was scared, scared for his baby.</p><p>He knew rationally that Millie and Grant would love this baby no matter what, and he knew that when the time comes they would teach it about gender and the baby would grow up knowing Neil and knowing him so this baby would have all the support, all the love and all the knowledge but Andrew was still scared.</p><p>He wanted Neil so badly, but he didn’t call him, he didn’t text him more that usual. </p><p>Instead of calling his therapist, or his mom or even Kevin, he drove home, he had junk food for lunch and then locked himself in his bedroom.</p><p>Neil would be home the day after and Andrew would feel better by then but until that he would curled up in bed to try to not feel anything.</p><p>He must’ve dozed at some point because the next thing he knew he wasn’t Andrew he was Josephine and he was hiding.<br/>
———-<br/>
He was a small kid, able to fit himself in tiny spaces, right now he was hiding under the bed when he heard the voice and the footsteps approaching, he shot his eyes and tried to control his breathing but he was really scared, he was only nine, he didn’t want to be hurt.</p><p>“Josephine, where are you?” His foster father sing sang, Josie bit his hand in a effort to keep quiet “You know I’ll find you no matter where you are, pretty Josephine, and then we’ll play”, he tried to stay as still as possible but the footsteps grew stronger and closer and he started to panic “There you are Josephine!, are you ready to play?” He asked in a fake sweet tone, Josie started to cry<br/>
“No, no!” He pleaded “Please, no!” He grabbed him by his ankles and dragged him from under the bed.<br/>
———-<br/>
Andrew was woken up by the noise of his own sob, heart racing, drenched in sweat and shaking like a leaf, he didn’t even try to calm himself, he just hugged his knees and sobbed loudly, he could tell he wasn’t breathing properly, in the back of his mind he knew he was having a panic attack but he couldn’t stop.</p><p>He needed to get a grip on himself, he needed to slow down his breathing, he needed to stop crying, he needed… he needed Neil.</p><p>And then suddenly as if by magic, Neil was there, for a moment Andrew thought he was still dreaming, Neil wasn’t supposed to be home until the next morning, he looked wrong, something was wrong, he was moving frantically as if looking for wounds or something like that, he was talking rapidly but Andrew couldn’t understand what was he saying.</p><p>He tried to talk, to ask Neil what was wrong, but all that came out of hi mouth was a pitiful whine, and then a sob, he hugged his knees tighter and really try to slow down his breathing, only then he was able to hear what Neil was saying</p><p>“Andrew, Drew, please, what’s wrong?, are you hurt?, is the baby okay?” He was asking ins desperate tones, then Andrew finally realized what was happening, there wasn’t anything wrong with Neil, he was worried about Andrew, because he had come and find him looking like someone just died.</p><p>He reached his hand and Neil immediately took it and that touch was enough to anchor him to reality</p><p>“Neil?”<br/>
“Yes, Andrew, what happened?”<br/>
“Nothing, I’m okay, I’m okay I just had a nightmare”<br/>
“Oh my god Drew!” Neil said and engulfed Andrew in a tight hug “I got so scared for a moment there, I thought something happened to the baby”<br/>
“N-no, I just, I just had a bad day” He mumbled “How are you here?, what time is it?”<br/>
“Just a little past midnight, I missed you so much and I knew I wasn’t going to be able to spend a good night after the game and Alvarez offered to drove us back here early, her girlfriend just got her appendix taken out and we both just wanted to come back tonight, I meant to surprise you” Andrew frowned, Neil wanted to surprise him, to make him happy and instead he had found a sobbing mess that almost give him a heart attack, he felt his eyes water again<br/>
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you” He said and started to cry again, God! This damn hormones<br/>
“No, sweetheart, you have nothing to be sorry for, I’m glad I got home just in time, you’re okay, I’m so happy to be back, I’m happy I’m able to comfort you” </p><p>They held each other tighter for a few more minutes until Andrew truly calmed down, then he leaned back, with out the frantic look on his face Neil  just looked a bit a tired. </p><p>“Did you guys win?” He asked, he knew they did, but he wanted to annoy his partner, Neil opened his mouth in mocked surprise<br/>
“You didn’t watch your own’s team game? I’m wounded!, we did win, for your information” He said smiling, but then got serious again “Do you want to talk about it?” Andrew shrugged<br/>
“I just had a bad brain day, puked in the morning, didn’t have breakfast and then I had the stupid test and they had to poke my arm twice because the nurse could find my vein, everything went well though, baby was good and everything is normal”<br/>
“Good” Neil said smiling<br/>
“Oh and the doctor could tell the gender” Neil gasped<br/>
“Really?, what is it then?”<br/>
“I don’t know, I didn’t want to found out without you, she wrote it down for us though, there’s an envelope in my jacket’s pocket”<br/>
“Do you want to go back to sleep?” Neil asked out of nowhere<br/>
“Not really, why? do you?”<br/>
“No, I slept almost all the way back here. Wanna to go for a ride?” Andrew smiled<br/>
“Yes”</p><p>They drove to a hill they used to frequent as teenagers, the weather was pretty nice, they were wearing jackets but the weren’t cold at all, Neil put a blanket on the ground and they laid down and star gazed for a long time </p><p>“I’m scared about finding out the gender” Andrew whispered<br/>
“Millie and Grant will love it not matter what, us too. Gender has nothing to do with love”<br/>
“I know, I’m still scared”<br/>
“That’s okay, I’m scared as well”<br/>
“Are you curious?”<br/>
“Yeah”<br/>
“Let’s find out” He got the envelope out of his pocket and handed it to Neil<br/>
“Ready?” He nodded, Neil ripped it open and took the paper out but didn’t look at it “At the count of three, okay?” He took Andrew’s hand<br/>
“One”<br/>
“Two”<br/>
“Three” Neil looked at paper and smiled<br/>
“It’s a girl” He said “We’re having a girl!, Millie and Grant are going to have a daughter!” He laughed and Andrew saw his eyes watered.</p><p>He felt something warm and happy explode inside him, a baby girl was growing in his tummy, a female, like he had being assigned at birth, but suddenly Andrew wasn’t so worried any more, Neil was right, love had nothing to do with gender, and this little girl was going to be so loved by so many people and not just people but people that only knew how to love fiercely and forever. </p><p>She was going to be happy and loved, she already was. </p><p>&lt;3</p><p>A week later, Andrew couldn’t zip his pants, Neil found him sitting on their bed wearing only boxers briefs, an oversized t-shirt and an adorable pout </p><p>“They don’t fit anymore?” He asked, bemused, Andrew shook his head no “Well, it was about time, you’re almost halfway there after all” Andrew just stared at his baby bump and Neil got worried that he might be feeling dysphoric “Are you okay?”<br/>
“Yeah, I think so, I don’t mind the bump, it’s just a bit overwhelming, she’s really growing in there uh?” He placed a hand softly on the bump “I’ve been talking to Amy about it” Amy was Andrew’s current therapist, she took no shit, Neil liked her.<br/>
“Okay, I’m here if you need me”<br/>
“I know”<br/>
“Do you want to go shopping for some new outfits?”<br/>
“Not today”<br/>
“Okay”<br/>
“I just… don’t wanna go to the Maternity area of a women’s clothing store”<br/>
“You don’t have to explain yourself Drew, but maybe we could do some online shopping some other time”<br/>
“That sounds good”<br/>
“So today is gonna be a lazy, no pants kinda day?” Andrew smiled<br/>
“Yeah, pants off, Bunny” Neil laughed, took off his pants and jumped in bed with his laptop, he kissed Andrew’s belly and then flopped next to him<br/>
“Kevin invited us to a barbecue tomorrow, he got a new grill or something”<br/>
“Ew, Kevin” Andrew said scrunching up his nose, Neil snorted<br/>
“He’s literally your best friend”<br/>
“Ew” Andrew said again<br/>
“Does that mean you don’t wanna go?”<br/>
“Oh, no, we’re going, he got a new grill, Neil” He said in the tone you would when talking to a really dumb child, Neil rolled his eyes and opened YouTube on his laptop, he was going to look for a tutorial when the explore page opened and all the suggested videos where about pregnancy “Have you ever watched a birthing video?”  Andrew asked<br/>
“Um, yeah, when we were in high school, it wasn’t exactly educational”<br/>
“I’m pretty sure it was meant to scare us into abstinence not educate us. Abby never showed you one?”<br/>
“I never asked her to, I know the theory though and her opinion about the subject”<br/>
“Let’s watch one now” Neil wrote ‘labor and delivery’ and clicked the first video that appeared, he wasn’t sure what he had been expecting but it definitely wasn’t what they saw.</p><p>A poor woman lied in a hospital bed for hours, squirming in pain, crying, vomiting, screaming and just suffering, and when the time to give birth came she was laying flat on the damn bed while a doctor basically put his hand inside her and pulled the baby out in what looked to be a painfully forced maneuver, when the baby was finally out he placed it on the mothers chest for all of two seconds and they took it away for examination.</p><p>When the video ended neither Neil or Andrew spoke for a moment.</p><p>Neil looked at Andrew, he was livid and had both of his hands protectively placed over his tummy </p><p>“That seemed very invasive and um... not logical?” he mumbled<br/>
“What do you mean?” Andrew whispered<br/>
“Well, why would you put a woman in labor in the most uncomfortable position possible?, and then have her pushed a baby out of her body against gravity, that position looked comfortable only for the doctor. She could have been walking, bouncing on a ball, standing or even on her knees to help with labor and delivery. At least that’s what Abby taught me.<br/>
“Maybe we just found the wrong video for us” Andrew said and clicked on a different one but it eded up being very similar, they watched two more videos after that one before Neil decided to just text Abby, who sent them a link to a video.<br/>
“She said that one of her friends and patient uploaded her birth” He told Andrew before pressing play.</p><p>The woman in labor was blogging and said she had been having contractions all night long and decided to call her midwife in the morning, and then to their surprise Abby appeared in the video, she had a large suitcase with her, Neil wanted to know what was inside, she asked some questions to the woman and then check her, then she guided her through labor with gentle words, the woman went for a fucking walk in the street with her partner, and even though she had to stop to breathe every few minutes she seemed to enjoy the fresh air, then she labored in the bathtub for a while, she ate and then she kept laboring on her knees, Abby checked on her from time to time but it seemed a lot less intrusive and a much more calm experience over all.</p><p>When the women said she wanted to push Abby checked her and then let her do her thing, with the help of her husband she pushed and pushed and Abby received the baby almost without touching her, then the mother herself put the baby on her chest and then cried and cuddled her baby for a long time.</p><p>It seemed like a home-birth was a completely different experience than a hospital birth.</p><p>When the video ended Andrew spoke first </p><p>“I think I want to have a home-birth” He said with conviction, Neil looked at him, surprised  “I don’t think I would feel safe in a hospital… ironically, I don’t want anyone calling me a mother by accident, I don’t want a doctor stuffing his hand inside me, I don’t want the birth of this baby to be a traumatic experience for me”<br/>
“I don’t want it to be a traumatic experience for you either, maybe we should call Abby and ask for advise” Andrew nodded so Neil immediately FaceTimed her, she greeted them warmly “Andrew might want to have a home birth” Neil informed her “But we don’t know if that’s an option for us, what do you need in order to have a home birth?<br/>
“Well the only condition is to have a healthy, low risk pregnancy, that’s all, if you have a medical condition that would make home birth unsafe for you or your baby, then the best option is a controlled hospital birth, but if everything is fine and you’re healthy there’s no reason why you couldn’t have a home birth”<br/>
“What about pain relieve?” Neil asked<br/>
“Usually home births are also unmedicated births, an epidural is not an option but there’s gas, and other technics to help the pregnant person cope with the pain, I’m not going to lie; labor and delivery can be very painful processes but they are very rewarding and being at home makes you feel safe, and calm, also having a good partner during labor is very important”<br/>
“Would you be up for delivering this baby?” Andrew asked<br/>
Abby seemed surprised for a few seconds, she put her hand on her chest and took a deep breath<br/>
“I haven’t attended a birth in a while” she said slowly “You know now I’m the Foxes nurse, but I’ll be happy to be your midwife if that’s what you want”<br/>
“Good, you’re the only one I would trust with my baby”<br/>
“It’ll be an honor Andrew”<br/>
“Are you okay with this decision Neil?” Andrew asked<br/>
“Yeah, I trust my Abby with my life, I’m so glad she’s going to be the one delivering our baby, It gives me a lot of peace. You’ll prepare us, right Abby?”<br/>
“Of course my boys, I’ll teach you everything you need to know, we’ll make sure you have a good, positive birthing experience Andrew” </p><p>Andrew and Neil smiled at each other, things were going the right way.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you for reading!! if you see something thats uncultured or disrespectful toward trans people please let me know, also I'm sowwy for the mistakes, English is not my first language </p><p>Kudos and comments make me soar!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Name reveal, and finally the birth!! :D</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello!!! remember when I said this was finished so that I'd be consistent with the updates? WELL, I lost the entire document and had to rewrite this again and it took me longer than I thought... :(, anywaaaaay, here's the final chapter, I hope you enjoy!</p>
<p>TW: Detailed description of labor and childbirth. </p>
<p>POVs change a lot, so they are marked with &lt;3, I hope it's not confusing.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Neil had loved Exy since he could remember, he would stop almost anything that he was doing if he had the chance to play, it had been that way his whole life except now, right now all he wanted to do was going back home to Andrew.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He was stuck in a hotel room for the rest of the night, he had had an away game five hours away from home and he was slowly going crazy. The rest of the team had gone out for celebratory drinks so he was alone sitting in bed, he texted Andrew</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘FaceTime?’</p>
<p>‘Give me 5’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>So he paced the room for the next five minutes until his phone rang, he smiled really big when he saw his partner, Andrew was wearing his old Foxes hoodie and soft looking pajama pants, the hoodie was big but Andrew’s tummy was big as well, he was approaching the 37 week mark, just a few more weeks to go.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey Bunny” Andrew said, looking tired, he hadn’t been able to sleep well in the last month, but he slept even worst when Neil wasn’t there, another reason for him to want to go back home</p>
<p>“Hey Sweetheart, how are you?, did you have a good day?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, the crib arrived so Millie and I got to see Grant and Kevin fail at assembling it”</p>
<p>“Oh my God!, why would you let Grant and poor Kevin put the thing together when you have Coach and Millie?”</p>
<p>“For entertainment purposes, obviously. The first two hours were fun, then it just got sad, but Millie and Coach got it done in no time, after Kevin almost cried, oh, good times”</p>
<p>“You guys are evil!” Neil laughed “And how have you been feeling?”</p>
<p>“Okay, I’ve been having lots of Braxton hicks and she’s been very active at night so I haven’t been sleeping well but nothing mayor to report, you’re definitely more anxious than me” Neil blushed a little, he knew Andrew needed him but maybe he needed Andrew just a bit more</p>
<p>“I miss you okay, is not like I can help it, or even want to”</p>
<p>“I know Neil, I miss you too, but thee days is not that long, and you’ll be back tomorrow”</p>
<p>“Yeah, tomorrow can’t come soon enough” Andrew smiled and yawned “Maybe we should go to bed so tomorrow can come early”</p>
<p>“Oh My God, you’re so embarrassing, I’m hanging up!” Neil laughed and and rolled his eyes</p>
<p>“You love meeee!”</p>
<p>“Go to bed Josten!”</p>
<p>“Okay, okay, good night Drew”</p>
<p>“Good night Neil, love you”</p>
<p>“See you do lo…” Andrew hung up, Neil smiled and went to bed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The next week passed in a flash, turns out you need a shit ton of stuff to have a home birth, from bed pads to cleaning supplies and even ‘bottom balm’. Neil and Andrew were very busy buying everything they would need, since his due date was fast approaching.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They still had roughly three weeks but they were told almost no-one delivers their baby on their due date.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They had been learning about pregnancy and home-birth like crazy, Abby had been teaching them a lot and they had investigated on their own a whole lot too, they knew all the theory you could know but they also knew that birthing was often unexpected and that theory and practice were two very different matters, anything could happen.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Andrew’s and the baby’s health was good, everything was going well so he was a great candidate for home birth, which made them both happy.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>At the time they were doing some grocery and some last minute shopping at the mall, Andrew has been feeling a lot of back pressure lately so they were walking slowly, Neil was looking for new shoes when Andrew distracted him without meaning to</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He was reading the label on a box with one hand on his back while unconsciously rocking from side to side, Neil smiled</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Braxton Hicks?” He asked, Andrew stopped his rocking</p>
<p>“Yeah, I’ve had lots of them today”</p>
<p>“Do you want to take a break, Drew?”</p>
<p>“No, I’m fine”</p>
<p>“That’s my line” Andrew rolled his eyes</p>
<p>“Yeah, but I’m actually okay, besides we’re almost done anyway”</p>
<p>“Fine, I’ll draw you a bath when we get home”</p>
<p>“Sounds good” Andrew smiled</p>
<p> </p>
<p>That night when they went to bed, Andrew kept squirming and tossing</p>
<p>“U okay?” Neil asked sleepily</p>
<p>“Yeah, just can’t get comfortable” His partner answered, annoyed “She’s putting a lot of pressure on my back”</p>
<p>“Do you want a back rub?”</p>
<p>“Mhmm, thank you” Andrew mumbled and Neil sobered up pretty quickly, Andrew was usually pretty reluctant when accepting help when it came to pregnancy stuff, so he must’ve been feeling very uncomfortable.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Neil grabbed some lotion, and began massaging Andrew’s back</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I thought about a name” Andrew whispered.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Millie and Grant had told them that since the baby was going to have both of their last names and Andrew was going to actually <em>birth</em> the baby, they should chose her name, and so they had been looking for options but none of them had stuck.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Really?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, it feels right, like it suits her, even when we haven’t officially met her yet, because I was afraid that we’d called her I don’t know: Clarissa and when she’s born she’d look like a Maverick or something like that ” Neil snorted</p>
<p>“Well I think she’ll look like a prune, newborns are very non descriptive, but maybe I have that perspective because I haven’t seen this very special new born, besides, right now you’re the one that knows her best so I’m sure it’s a good name” after a few moments of silence Andrew softly whispered</p>
<p>“I like Olivia… It means ‘the one that brings peace’. What do you thing?”</p>
<p>“I really, really like it, Drew” Neil felt a slow soft smile break through his face “Olivia Allan Guerrero, sounds perfect to me” He said and leaned to kiss Andrew’s forehead.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The next day they’re going to attend Andrew’s and Millie’s baby shower, well, not really, it was actually a family get together, where would be a person that was pregnant and a person that was about to be a mom, and people were bringing gifts for the baby and for the pregnant person, it was all kinda confusing if you weren’t a part of the family.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Neil had felt Andrew woke up about three times the night before, which was pretty normal in that particular stage of pregnancy, so in the morning he woke up before his partner. Andrew was curled up on his side with a pillow between his legs.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Neil observed him for a few minutes, he was so freaking handsome, so brave, Neil was so proud of him, he had handled this whole situation with such a big emotional maturity. Amonth after they had found out Andrew was pregnant they had gone back to weekly therapy sessions (before they only had monthly sessions), even if they knew they were making the right decision for them and for the baby, it was still a lot to understand a process.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Andrew was going through a lot of physical changes, his hormones were having a party inside him and he was getting sick every morning, it was a lot to handle , but he was strong and also very aware of himself and his emotions and desires. He knew who he was: a trans masculine man who was carrying a child and Neil was his partner, at first Neil hadn’t think he needed to go to therapy as well but Andrew had made him realize that even if Andrew was the one carrying the baby Neil was experimenting his own set of changes and challenges.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He was terrified of not being supportive enough, of not being understanding enough, he was afraid Andrew might’ve been letting go of his baby just because Neil wasn’t ready to be a father even when he knew that wasn’t the case, whenever he went on an away game he was experiencing Separation Anxiety, something that he thought he had conquered a long time ago.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He felt guilty because he was getting attached to the baby, but at the same time he didn’t want to get too attached because she wasn’t going to be theirs at the end, so yeah therapy had been much needed it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Now they had both come to an understanding: the baby… Olivia, was theirs, she was always going to be <em>their baby</em> even if they weren’t going to be her parents, they were allowed to love her, and oh how they loved her, they loved her so much that sometimes Neil was surprised of how much love he was able to retain inside him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And Andrew, Andrew adored her beyond words, he took great care of himself so she would be strong and healthy, he would talk to her so she’d always remembered his voice, he went to therapy so he could be in the best mind set to hand her over to her loving parents, they were allowed to love her, they were allowed to cry because they were going to miss her but they were also allowed to cry because they felt at peace and they knew they were making the right choice.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It had been a bumpy ride but they had gone through it together, and they had had great support from their families, Neil felt thankful and overwhelmed by all the love. Now they were reaching the end of the path even if it was only the beginning.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He was still very deep in thought when Andrew began to stir next to him, he opened his eyes slowly and then scrunched up his nose in a mixture of sleep and concern.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Are you crying?” He asked, voice rough with sleep. Neil touched his own cheek, he hadn’t realized he had been crying.</p>
<p>“I was just thinking, nothing is wrong” He answered softly and his voice broke a little</p>
<p>“Care to share with the class?” Neil reached for Andrew’s hand, he immediately took it</p>
<p>“I’m just a bit emotional, I’m so thankful to have you, I’m so happy that I get to share my life with you and that you chose to share your amazing self with me, I’m so proud of you, of us, of our families” Andrew looked confused yet content “Also, you’re so fucking handsome” that got a startled laugh from his partner</p>
<p>“It’s too early for deep thinking” Neil snorted</p>
<p>“Morning Drew”</p>
<p>“Morning Bunny”</p>
<p>“Ready for your baby shower?”</p>
<p>“Ew, don’t call it that”</p>
<p>“Ready for our family gathering where we’ll be celebrating the life you’re carrying and people will bring presents for the baby that’s yet to be born?” Andrew blinked a few times</p>
<p>“Yeah, I’m ready for my baby shower”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They showered and got dressed, Andrew was wearing a black top with black pants and combat boots but to topped all off he was wearing a white letter jacket and his swollen belly, Neil was so absolutely wiped it wasn’t even funny.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The whole ordeal went extremely well, it was at Millie’s and there were no pastel color decorations that indicated a regular ‘baby shower’ but since it was Christmas time the house felt warm and cozy, they made gingerbread houses: Neil and Kevin got very competitive, Andrew kept eating the decorations, Millie being an architect created a very complicated looking house and Coach, Abby and Betsy picked a winner at the end, Kevin took the lost like a toddler, it had been really fun.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They also baked gingerbread cookies and decorated them like Christmas babies that Andrew refused to eat and ended the night with presents, to Andrew’s surprise most of them had gotten presents for the baby and also for Andrew.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>At the end of the evening Millie took Neil and Andrew to the recently finished nursery and handed them a present. Andrew opened, it was an empty photo album, in the cover it read “Our bodies are simply the shell of which our souls call home” Neil looked up.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s more a promise than a present, I know you value promises Andrew, and I know it’s a given but I want to promise to both of you that you will always be a part of this baby’s life, Olivia will always be a part of you and she’ll always know the awesome man that birthed her, the amazing couple that brought her to the world, you guys will always have a relationship with her that will be untouchable, this album is for you guys to fill it with the memories that we’ll create together with her.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Andrew sniffed loudly so Neil hugged him tight and then Millie joined the hug and the three of them held each other close for a moment that felt timeless, with four beating hearts in a room full of love and acceptance.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Neil went to bed that night feeling blissfully happy but woke up before six am with the sound of his partner quite whines next to him, his first thought was that Andrew was having a nightmare, he was making little displeased sounds in his sleep so Neil called his name softly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Andrew barely opened his eyes</p>
<p>“uh?”</p>
<p>“Are you okay?” Neil asked quietly, Andrew was still half asleep</p>
<p>“Yeah, you?”</p>
<p>“Yes”</p>
<p>“Good” He said, snuggled closer to Neil an immediately closed his eyes again, his breathing evened out just a few moments later. It was probably nothing so Neil went back to sleep as well.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>An hour later the same whining woke him up again. Next to him Andrew was making displeased sounds and twitching a bit .</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Andrew?” Neil asked a bit worried</p>
<p>“What?” Came the annoyed answer a few seconds later</p>
<p>“Are you okay?”</p>
<p>“<em>Yes</em>”</p>
<p>“Did you have a nightmare?”</p>
<p>“No… why?”</p>
<p>“It’s just, you were making weird sounds” That seemed to woke Andrew a little bit</p>
<p>“I don’t think I was dreaming of anything but I’m still tired, lets go back to sleep, it’s not even seven, on Sundays you shouldn’t be allowed to talk before nine” Neil rolled his eyes but started to run his fingers through Andrew’s hair and felt him relax again but he did not go back to sleep.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>After maybe fifteen minutes Andrew started twitching again and Neil got very suspicious, so he observed his boyfriend for another hour maybe, it was a pattern, he would move uncomfortably or whine quietly and then he would stop for some time only for the twitching to start again, Neil let it happened since Andrew remained asleep for the next hour or so.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When Andrew finally opened his eyes on his own, it was about eight thirty.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He let his partner wake up slowly and comfortably and didn’t voice his suspicious yet, Andrew rubbed his belly absentmindedly and smiled softy</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Morning” He mumbled “Now that I’m actually awake”</p>
<p>“Hey sweetheart, how do you feel?”</p>
<p>“Mhmm, good”</p>
<p>“Are you in any pain?” Andrew seemed to think about it</p>
<p>“My back is annoying me, maybe I should get up and move around” Neil bit his lip and watched Andrew’s movements carefully, he didn’t seemed any more uncomfortable than he had in the last month but Neil was still <em>very</em> suspicious. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He went to make breakfast while Andrew took a shower, when Andrew got back he still looked uncomfortable.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Are you having lots of Braxton Hicks contractions?” Neil asked carefully</p>
<p>“Kinda, my back won’t stop bothering me” Neil hummed, he had made a light yet full-filling breakfast.</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>They ate in peaceful silence but Neil noticed that Andrew wouldn’t stop squirming in place, he kept observing him and while they were doing the dishes Andrew started rocking from side to side.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Drew, how often are you having contractions?” He stopped moving abruptly</p>
<p>“I don’t know” He answered carefully, he seemed to be lying</p>
<p>“Do you think, maybe we should time them? Just to know”</p>
<p>“No” He dryly answered</p>
<p>“Andr..”</p>
<p>“<em>No</em>” he cut him “I don’t want to”</p>
<p>“Okay, we don’t have to, what do you want to do then?” He asked just to change the topic, he didn’t want yo put Andrew on edge.</p>
<p>“I want to clean the apartment” He said matter of factly, he was definitely nesting and that just worried Neil even more, but he answered slowly and calmly</p>
<p>“All right, then we’ll clean” He didn’t exactly want it to clean their already clean apartment, what he wanted was to start timing Andrew’s contractions so they could know if they had to call Abby to check if he was in labor.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He was still three weeks early but he had a smaller frame and they didn’t know the exact date of conception so he could very much be in labor but Neil didn’t want to get ahead of himself, it could also be nothing, Andrew had been having Braxton Hicks contractions for over a month now, so he could have just been feeling that, but somehow Neil just didn’t think so.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They dusted and vacuumed the apartment, Neil noticed that Andrew had to stop what he was doing from time to time to rock or take a deep breath, on the last two times he closed his eyes and grabbed onto some piece of furniture that was close enough, after an hour of stress cleaning Neil couldn’t take it any longer.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Andrew, I really think we should start timing your contractions”</p>
<p>“No” Andrew said again, he hadn’t said anything else in the past hour</p>
<p>“Is there a reason why you don’t want to?” Neil asked carefully</p>
<p>“Because I… because you think I’m in labor when I’m not”</p>
<p>“I don’t know if you are, but you seem uncomfortable, I just want to make sure you’re okay” Andrew bit his lip</p>
<p>“I’m not in labor” He repeated “I still have three more weeks to go”</p>
<p>“Maybe we should call Abby to check on you”</p>
<p>“<em>No</em>, I’m <em>not</em> in labor!” He said looking more and more flustered, like he was close to tears, he began rocking again possibly contradicting his own words. Neil didn’t want to disrespect his ‘no’ but he was getting worried.</p>
<p>“<em>We don’t know</em>, is just, this seems somehow different, your contractions seem different from the ones you’ve been having lately”</p>
<p>“And tell me. How exactly do you know that when I’m the one having them?” Andrew replied scowling just to be abruptly cut by yet another contraction, he bended over the couch and took a deep breath, Neil hurried to his side hovering around him without touching him, not really knowing what to do, Andrew’s hand flew to his shirt clutching it tightly, Neil put his hand on top of Andrew’s and waited patiently for it to be over.</p>
<p>“I don’t want to go against your wishes, Andrew, but I really think we should call her, you’re clearly in pain. Is there a reason why you don’t want to call her?” They locked eyes for a few seconds and then Andrew deflated</p>
<p>“I don’t...want to be in labor yet, I don’t know if I’m ready, I should still get to be with her for at least three more weeks, I know we’ve been preparing to let her go and that we’re content with that decision but… I should still have three more weeks” he said helplessly </p>
<p>“I know sweetheart, I just want to make sure you’re both okay” Andrew took a very deep breath</p>
<p>“Fine, call Abby I might as well get checked”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Neil felt an immense sense of relief, He was getting really worried, so he called Abby and texted another important person just in case.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Abby took about forty minutes to arrive and in that time Andrew had contractions several times, he breathed through them and even though he seemed uncomfortable he didn’t seemed to be in whole lot of pain…yet.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>After a few short greetings Abby went into midwife mode</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Okay Andrew, tell me, since when have you been having contractions that seemed more consistent?”</p>
<p>“About five in the morning” it was already past eleven, Neil bit his lip “Okay, have you had brownish discharge, diarrhea, or back pain that doesn’t go away no matter how much you change positions?”</p>
<p>“Yes”</p>
<p>“To which one? Andrew averted Neil’s gaze</p>
<p>“All of them” Abby didn’t seemed alarmed or worried</p>
<p>“Very well, those all might be signs of early labor. Will you let me check for dilatation?” Andrew sighed</p>
<p>“Yes”</p>
<p>“We already talked about how this works, and what you feel comfortable with, Andrew, but would you like me to explain the process again?</p>
<p>“No, go ahead”</p>
<p>“Okay, lay on your back please” Andrew looked uncomfortable doing so but not because of Abby, she noticed too “Is laying on your back uncomfortable?”</p>
<p>“Yes, I feel a lot of pressure in this position”</p>
<p>“This won’t take long” She said softly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Neil offered Andrew his hand, he was worrying his lip and looking uneasy.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Take a deep breath” Abby asked him, and then proceeded to check him, Andrew took a few very conscious breaths and squished Neil’s hand “All done” She smiled in a very particular way “The head is really low, that’s why your back hurts. You’re already five centimeters dilated, you’re definitely in labor Andrew!, actually you’re already half way there, only five more centimeters to go, It’s a good thing I came prepared, I have everything in the car, I’ll go bring it up” She said sweetly and left them alone.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Even-though Neil had suspected that Andrew was in labor, getting it confirmed was a completely different thing, they had been studying and learning about labor and birth in deep in the last few months but at that moment he felt greatly unprepared for the birth of their baby.</p>
<p>Andrew was stunt in silence for a few moments and then promptly bursted into tears. Neil was shocked for a few seconds before he opened his arms to envelope Andrew in a hug, but he flinched back.</p>
<p>“Don’t touch me!”</p>
<p>“I wont, I’m sorry, I won’t touch you, can you tell me what do you need?” Andrew kept ugly crying, hiccuping and sobbing for what seemed like a long time and then between tears he said:</p>
<p>“Mom, I wa-want my mama” And that surprisingly was something Neil <em>could</em> deliver, right after he had called Abby he had texted Betsy and she was already on her way.</p>
<p>“She’ll be here in no time Drew, hang on for a bit” Andrew looked up, surprised.</p>
<p>“She will?”</p>
<p>“Yes, I already talked with her”</p>
<p>“I… okay” Andrew said and kept just crying between contractions.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Neil sat next to him feeling overwhelmed as well. He wanted to be comforting but he felt a bit lost too.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>While they waited for Betsy, Andrew sat on the bed, he was rubbing his belly restlessly, sniffing from time to time, crying with such an intense emotion that Neil felt like he was witnessing something break.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>A few contractions later, they heard a soft nock on the bedroom door, Neil had told Betsy to let herself in and Abby was probably in the living room giving them some time.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Come in” Andrew managed to said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>As soon as Betsy entered Neil could see his boyfriend visibly relax, she greeted Neil kindly and went right to Andrew, gently asked if she could touch him and then enveloped him in the hug he needed, Andrew clung to her while she whispered lovingly close to his hear.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Neil just stood there awkwardly, he felt like he was intruding in his own house so he quietly left the room just to find Abby waiting for him right outside, and it apparently was what he needed too because the moment she opened his arms he threw himself at her. She embraced him tightly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“My boy” she said comfortingly</p>
<p>“I’m scared” He whispered</p>
<p>“Everything’s going to be just fine, they are both perfectly healthy, you just have to be there for him and everything will be fine”</p>
<p>“Promise?”</p>
<p>“We’ll all do our best, I’m so proud of you both”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They silently hugged for a few more minutes, Neil felt himself relax a bit, he knew they had all the support and expertise they needed, and he believed everything was going to be fine, even if they both were a bit scared.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Abby coaxed him to help assembling everything, they got the guest’s room ready for the birth. They had decided months before that Andrew was going to give birth there, there was enough space, a nice bed and lot of natural light. Andrew didn’t want to give birth on their bed on the master bedroom because the whole ordeal was going to be messy and he wanted to just move to his own clean bed to rest afterwards.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They deep cleaned everything, they sanitized what needed to be sanitized, Abby took out some of her supplies and helped with the cleaning and organizing. Everything took them about an hour and a half, Neil had been bouncing on his feet the whole time with the need to check on Andrew but he was with his mom just a few doors down and he trusted that everything was fine, Andrew needed time to process and if he needed something else he would have called him but now it was finally time to go check on him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He opened the bedroom door to found Andrew half sitting half laying on his side on the bed with a very soft blanket draped over him and a huge pillow between his legs, Betsywas talking softly while carding her fingers through Andrew’s hair and he was nodding to whatever she was saying.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He looked a thousand percent more relaxed, he actually seemed to be managing labor wonderfully, he was taking controlled deep breaths and looking uncomfortable but not in horrible pain…yet.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey Sweetheart” Neil said lovingly and kissed Andrew’s cheek, Andrew gave him a shy little smile as if he was feeling a bit embarrassed for his outburst earlier. “How are you feeling? Are contractions getting more intense?” Andrew hummed in response.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When the next contraction came he closed his eyes and took a deep breath, making a tiny displeased sound. Neil immediately climbed in bed behind him to rub his back. When it passed Andrew took a couple of calming breaths and Abby came into the room.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey Andrew, you seemed to be doing amazing, can I check your progress?”</p>
<p>“I don’t wanna get on my back” He almost whined</p>
<p>“Are you feeling lots of pressure there?” He nodded “That’s okay I can check you like this, hold your leg up a bit, perfect, deep breath, hmm, you’re not quite at a six yet, it’s been almost two hours since last time I checked you, maybe you should change positions and move around a bit to help her come down” Neil bit his lip, he knew this was going to be a long process but still… Andrew looked a bit disappointed for the little progress he made in two hours but he nodded solemnly at the suggestion, they listened to the baby’s heartbeat and it was normal so Abby left with Betsy to let them labor by themselves.</p>
<p>“Do you wanna bounce on the ball for a bit?” Neil asked gently, Andrew eyed the big yoga ball warily but nodded anyway. Neil helped him get settled and when Andrew was gently bouncing he took both of his hands.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And suddenly his contractions really started to pick up. Andrew needed to stop bouncing when a contraction came and Neil really could see it clearly now, the tightening of the belly, the halt on Andrew’s breathing, the force with which he held on to Neil.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“They’re getting <em>really</em> annoying” Andrew gritted out after a particularly long one “I don’t wanna bounce any more” He said but didn’t move “I’m thirsty” He said looking miserably</p>
<p>“Do you want me to get you a drink?” He nodded but Neil didn’t want to leave him alone</p>
<p>“Go, I’ll be fine for two seconds” Andrew said reading his mind</p>
<p>“Do you want me to let Millie and Grant know you’re in labor?” Andrew nodded absently closing his eyes one more time.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Neil passed the living room where Abby and Betsy where talking softly, they stopped when the say Neil</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Everything okay, Hon?” Abby asked him</p>
<p>“Yeah, he’s just thirsty, I’m gonna get him some coconut water, can you call Millie for me to let her know Drew’s in labor, Betsy?”</p>
<p>“Of course” She smiled</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When Neil got back to his room, he found Andrew crouched in front of the bed, rocking from side to side, now he was starting to look really in pain, he let out a low whine, probably thinking that he was alone. Neil didn’t want him to feel like he couldn’t express his pain, he definitely didn’t need to be quiet. He closed the door softly. Andrew looked up and shut his mouth immediately.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Are you in a lot of pain Sweetheart?” He asked, Andrew shrugged</p>
<p>“My back is killing me.” he said softly “there’s so much pressure” He handed him his travel mug and and Andrew drank slowly</p>
<p>“Do you want me to put some counter pressure?”</p>
<p>“Yes” he was wearing a gigantic oversize hoodie and sweatpants, he took off the hoodie and the sweats slowly. He looked slightly more comfortable in boxers and a t-shirt.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Neil fetched some lotion and started massaging Andrew’s back while he rocked silently from side to side. He let his mind wonder for a bit, thinking of the next few days and how Andrew will recover after the birth when his mind snapped back to the present from the hitched groan his boyfriend let out.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Andrew whimpered then choked on his own breath, he dry heaved and gasped as another contraction started, he massaged a particularly rigid spot, watching the strained muscle shifting to accommodate the baby within.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"You're okay, just keep breathing." He encouraged Andrew. "I've got you, you're okay." He promised his trembling boyfriend, sneaking his free hand to smooth over the rock hard belly. He could only imagine how hard this was for Andrew.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He shuddered a moment later, the contraction once again leaving his body. He pressed his forehead against the bed, and took a deep breath then he turned around and looked at Neil with pleading eyes</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hold me” He pleaded, voice trembling. Neil immediately embraced him and rubbed his back.</p>
<p>“You’re doing amazing, you’re so strong, I’m so proud of you, you’re home, you’re safe, I love you” Neil chanted over and over, Andrew put his head on the crook of Neil’s neck and he rocked them gently. He was so glad Andrew trusted him and that they could share this moment even though he felt helpless, unable to do anything but watch and just be there.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>After a couple of contractions have passed, Andrew started to whimper lowly "You got this, Drew. You're doing great." He tried to soothe his whimpering parter.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When a contraction hit Andrew started to still himself and hold his breath, which seemed to make everything more painful, Neil knew right then the baby and him needed lots of oxygen "Breath, Andrew. Don't forget to breath." He urged gently. Andrew finally panted shallowly, blowing short puffs air with a hitched growl.</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>Neil was feeling restless and jittery. Seeing his boyfriend in such pain was doing number to his nerves, but he forced himself to remain calm. Andrew needed him to be calm and supportive not scared.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He watched helplessly as Andrew rode the next few contractions, his spine going rigid, tummy hardening involuntarily. The hands on his back squeezing tightly, his head still on the crook of Neils neck.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The contractions started to last longer every-time they hit, and Andrew started making pained noises that got progressively louder along with the process, but that somehow were still low and kinda quiet. He rocked his body from side to side, hips undulating as he strained to cope with the pain. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You got this, don’t hold your breath” he felt Andrew nod against his chest, but instead of taking a truly deep breath Neil could feel it when the Andrew’s breath started ratcheting, another contraction already coming in. His spine went rigid, he threw back his head and leant fully into Neil, his body straining.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Andrew was silent for a moment before he suddenly grunted again, a long low pained sound filled the room while he bore down hard. Neil saw his boyfriend's tummy pulled even more taut, his legs trembling as he pressed his chin down to his chest,</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Andrew, are you pushing?" Neil asked alarmed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>&lt;3</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The latest contraction hit differently. It was sort of stronger and longer than they've ever been. Andrew could feel the effect that the contraction brought, the deep tight squeeze down his belly spreading deeper into his hips. It felt very different now, he was feeling like he was about to pop, hips and belly pulled tighter than ever. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>His body suddenly tensed without his permission. The weird feeling of the baby's head dropping down into his hips. He grunted long and low. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He felt like every single muscle on his body was forced to push the baby that has firmly settled against his pelvis.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Fuck!" He cried out when the contraction passed. "Pressure!"Andrew felt like he was drowning, he couldn’t seem to breathe. He wasprobably gripping Neil’s shoulders way too hard. Well, Neil could suck it, he was the reason Andrew had to go through this.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"It's okay Drew, hold on to me as hard as you want”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Andrew was going to talk, but a second later his breath turned ragged again. <em>Fuck, already?</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>Suddenly he felt an unbelievable pressure, he didn't want to push but again his body tensed involuntarily and he bore down hard. It was so overwhelming, Andrew held his breath the entire time and released it with a gasp as the urge to push receded.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When he and Neil watched birth videos they of course looked incredibly painful but no one said that each urge to push was going to be worse than the last. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Andrew started to heave. Everything felt so hot and heavy, the pressure on his lower back was almost unbearable. He wanted this to end, preferably soon but it was taking forever.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Drew" Neil said softly but firmly. "Breath, you're okay. Breath with me" Andrew gulped down air and moved his hand to grasp Neil’s forearm. He hided his face into the crook of Neil's neckagain and panted, still trying to slow down his breathing.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When the contraction ended Andrew's muscles briefly relaxed, but then the intense urge to push was back on top of everything. He held his push for as long as he could, the tension in his stomach was back and his body once again had to bear down without his consent. He could feel things clenching, stretching, and unclenching again and again, all over the place.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And then, an odd sensation came. Something gave way. There was a release from the maddening pressure followed by gush of thick clear liquid. And with the pressure gone, Andrew could suddenly breath again. There was a break from all the maddening pressure, he took a long deep breath and looked down. There was liquid dripping onto the floor. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“My water broke” He announced breathlessly</p>
<p>“What?” Neil said slightly alarmed “Oh my god, you’re right, should we call Abby to check you?” He was trying to sound calmed and collected but Andrew saw right through it</p>
<p>“Yes”</p>
<p>“Do you feel like pushing?”</p>
<p>“Not anymore, I actually feel a bit better, there’s less pressure on my back”</p>
<p>“Okay, good, deep breaths” He said soothingly and then a bit louder “Abby, can you come into the bedroom?” They waited for a few moments with Andrew resting his head on Neil’s shoulder, now that his water broke and he wasn’t going through a contraction he wasactually having a bit of a break.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey boys”, Abby said entering the room “How are we feeling?”</p>
<p>“His water broke” Neil said</p>
<p>“I was pushing for a little while, I couldn’t help it, but I don’t feel like pushing anymore”</p>
<p>“It’s okay, that’s perfectly normal, can I check you?</p>
<p>“Yes” Abby got closer and examined the little puddle on the floor “Water’s pretty clear, no meconium, that’s good, everything’s looking great, I’m gonna check you now, take a deep breath Andrew” the feeling of Abby’s fingers inside him made him feel extremely uncomfortable, but Abby worked quickly and efficiently and soon the examination was over “You’re at a seven and a half, that’s great!, that’s amazing progress Andrew, the change in position really helped. After the water breaks things usually go faster, you’re almost there. Are you comfortable? Do yo want to move o change positions again?”</p>
<p>“I’m okay, I wanna stay like this a little longer” He said and put his head back on Neil’s shoulder. Neil began to rock them unconsciously.</p>
<p>“Great, I’m going to set up a few things, I’ll be right out if you need me, you’re almost there Andrew” She said and left.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When the next contraction hit Andrew felt the water drip again and let out and involuntary small whine.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I don’t like it” He mumbled, feeling uncomfortable</p>
<p>“What don’t you like, sweetheart?” Neil asked rubbing his back gently</p>
<p>“When I get a contraction I can feel the water dripping off of me, I <em>don’t</em> like it, Neil. I want to get in the shower” He felt the odd sensation again and shook his hands</p>
<p>“Okay Drew, it’s okay, let’s get you in the shower, do you want me to fill the bathtub so you can sit?”</p>
<p>“<em>No, </em>I wanna go in the shower <em>now</em>, I hate the way this feels” He answered, distressed, he was getting truly uncomfortable, the pressure was getting very real. Before he had been able to relax but now even-though he felt tired he also felt way too alert and aware of everything.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Neil slowly guided him to their bathroom, It was getting uncomfortable for him to walk</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Do you want to take your clothes off?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, come in with me but don’t take yours off” He pleaded, he needed Neil close to him more than probably ever in his life.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Neil helped him get his boxers and shirt off and got his sweat pants off but kept his own boxers and t-shirt.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Once they were under the spray of the shower Andrew felt instantly better, he let himself be held by Neil while the water on his back soothed him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Better?” Neil asked rubbing his back</p>
<p>“Yeah, the water feels nice, my back keeps aching, even when I’m not having acontraction”</p>
<p>“But you’re doing so good Drew, you’re so strong, I’m so proud of you, I admire you so much”</p>
<p>“Shut it Bunny, don’t get mushy on me” He said in-between contractions. Neil just laughed and kissed his forehead</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The contractions were definitely picking up, Andrew felt as if he had no rest at all, the pressure was overwhelming if not exactly painful.</p>
<p>“I can really feel the head pressing lower, it’s so weird”</p>
<p>“Yeah?, I can’t even imagine it”</p>
<p>“Like yes, it’s <em>painful </em>and everything feels tender down there but what bothers me the most is the pressure on my back, fuck back labor, 0 out if 10, 100% would not recommend” Neil laughed out loud</p>
<p>“I love you so much”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Neil helped him ridemore waves for probably the next thirty minutes but then Andrew started to feel jittery, he started shaking even-though he wasn’t cold, Neil noticed right away.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I think, you’re in transition sweetheart, you’re so close now” he said</p>
<p>“People get the jitters when they’re about to give birth?” Andrew asked, he didn’t like the feeling of being jittery in the shower</p>
<p>“They do, do you feel nauseous at all?”</p>
<p>“A bit”</p>
<p>“That means your really close, you’re doing amazing” after another contraction hit while he was still shaking he said:</p>
<p>“I don’t like it, I want to get out of the shower”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The contractions were getting longer and without realizing Andrew started making low pained noises, out of the shower he rocked his body back and forth, hips undulating as he strained to cope with the pain.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Do you want to wear your bathrobe or do you want me to get you some clothes?”</p>
<p>“T-Shirt” Andrew gritted out “Dry yourself, get change too”</p>
<p>“I’ll be right back” Neil said and ran out to the bedroom</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Andrew tried to take deep breaths, but he suddenly felt a huge urge to push and began to panic.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No, no yet” He pleaded no one, he wanted to cry, he wanted to punch or strangle something, someone! He was scared.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He didn’t want to push yetbut the pressure inside seemed to worsen the longer he halted. He gasped loudly, his hand clasped over his mouth. His body went rigid. The need to push was overwhelming “Neil!” He called and his partner immediately came, he was wearing a new set of sweats and t-shirt</p>
<p>“I got you a shirt, what’s wrong?”</p>
<p>“I feel like pushing really bad” His breathing was starting to pick up, he didn’t want to push yet “I can’t help it” He whined, he could feel tears burning in his eyes</p>
<p>“It’s okay, it’s okay,Abby can check you to see if it’s time” He looked so calm like he didn’t understand how much pressure Andrew was feeling o how scared he was</p>
<p>“No!, you don’t understand, I can’t stop!”</p>
<p>“I know sweetheart, but you’re okay, take a deep breath, let me help you put on your robe so Abby can check you”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Neil didn’t understand that everything was too much, that the pressure in his back was too much and the pain was too much and the urge too push was too much too soon, he had stopped shaking but then it started again, He broke down in tears on top of everything.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I <em>don’t </em>want to push yet!” He practically yelled but before Neil could say anything Abby appeared in the bathroom, Neil covered Andrew’s back with his robe</p>
<p>“Are we okay?” She asked</p>
<p>“He needs to push, but he’s feeling a little overwhelmed”</p>
<p>“Oh, Andrew, if you feel like pushing it might be your body telling you it’s time, may I check you?” He nodded because tears were still flowing freely and the pressure in his back was so strong that he didn’t think he could talk at the moment. He almost flinched when he felt Abby’s hand.</p>
<p>“You’re almost at a ten Andrew, your body is very wise, it’s time to push, I know it can be an intense and overwhelming sensation but holding the pushes often feels worst than pushing, you have almost no cervix left and the head is very very low, try and push, you’ll probably feel better” Abby finished and Neil offered him and encouraging smile.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The pressure was not slowing down, and he could’t hold his pushes anymore, What had felt like unforgiving pressure now felt like a giant weight. The terrible need to push surged through his body once more. So he gave in and pushed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It felt raw and intense but definitely better than holding the pushes, when the wave was over Neil offered his hand.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Come on Drew, Let’s get you to the guest room” they were probably twenty steps away from the guest room where everything was set up for the birth but it felt like the longest walk of his life, Neil had to even help him climb on the bed.</p>
<p>“You can be in any position you feel the most comfortable Andrew”</p>
<p>“Do you wanna lay down?” Neil asked</p>
<p>“No, I wanna be on my knees, come here” Neil climbed on the bed sitting with his legs open and Andrew placed himself low on his knees in front of him and clung to the back of his shirt, Neil immediately embraced him “When do I push?” He asked</p>
<p>“When you have a contraction Andrew, and whenever your body tells you”</p>
<p><br/>And so the grueling process of pushing began.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>&lt;3</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Andrew tightened his hold on Neil’s neck as if he was afraid to let go. If this moment was intense and scary for Neil he couldn’t even imagine what it was like for Andrew so he tightened is hold as well and said:</p>
<p>“It’s okay, I’m right here, I’ve got you, I won’t let go” Andrew let out a low whine and started pushing.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was nothing like what you saw on movies where the protagonist would feel the urge to push, started screaming dramatically and two seconds later the baby was out. The pushing stage was long and grueling like the rest of labor.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Up until this point Andrew had been mostly quiet but now he was vocalizing a lot more, moaning and grunting when the contractions hit him. Neil could tell he was trying to be quiet, muffling his moans on the curve of Neil’s neck.</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>“Don’t hold back Drew, you can scream or cry or vocalize as much as you want to, whatever feels right. We’re home, you’re safe” Andrew pinched him, but started to moan louder, long pained moans that also sounded like relieved cries.</p>
<p>Neil continued to massage his back and gently rock them for what seemed like forever but were probably about thirty minutes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>While Andrew was breathing between contractions Abby entered the bedroom with Betsy because he asked for her to be there, she sat in a chair next to the bed. </p>
<p>“You’re doing really good Drew, I think she’s almost here, is it alright if I check your progress?” Abby said softly</p>
<p>“Yeah, but ah!, wait I have to. ah!” He said and bore down again, pushing hard</p>
<p>“It’s okay, let me know when the contraction’s gone” replied calmly, Andrew pushed one more time and sagged against Neil</p>
<p>“Okay, it’s gone”</p>
<p>“Great, take a deep breath, I’m going to check now” Neil could feel Andrew’s hand fly to his shirt and fisted it</p>
<p>“Andrew, the head is right there!, you’ve made such a great process, she is about to be born. Do you want to deliver in that position?</p>
<p>“No, I wanna lay on my side” Neil slowly helped him lay on his left side and he positioned himself behind Andrew serving as support, once they were settled Neil kissed Andrew’s forehead</p>
<p>“You are doing great Drew, you are amazing”</p>
<p>“No!” He whined, looking close to tears “I want this to be over, I’m so tired”</p>
<p>“You’re almost done, her head is with there you can even reach out and touch if you want” Abby said “Can Neil help you hold your right leg up? It’ll help you open your hips and legs as much as possible” Andrew nodded so Neil put his hand behind his boyfriend’s knee and helped him opened up. Andrew let go of Neil to give Abby a shaky hand, she guided his hand so he could touch the baby’s head</p>
<p>“That’s her?” He asked, his voices tired and amazed</p>
<p>“Yeah, you are about to crown, can you give me a big push?” He nodded and suddenly looked much more focused and concentrated, he’s purpose renewed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>&lt;3</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The terrible need to push surged through Andrew’s body once more. There was this awfulstinging ache under his belly whenever he managed to bear down long enough. But as soon as he stoped pushing, the baby seemed to slipped back into his body.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“She’s not coming down!” He whined desperately </p>
<p>“Yes she is, you have to stretch slowly so you don’t tear but she’s coming down just fine Andrew, you’re doing great” Abby said gently</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He was clutching Neil’s hands desperately, his boyfriend was looking solely at him, trying to sooth him with words of encouragement and soft kisses on his forehead, Andrew was trembling, his body keep tensing involuntarily.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He could feel that each wave was coming on top of each other. He bore down, and spread, pushed, and stretched, the sting was not stopping now. Something seemed to give, it catched on his insides, creating such a harsh burning pain that for a moment he felt like he wasn’t going to be able to do this.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He continued pushing, and groaning, but the heavy weight he was working on just didn’t budge.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>This continued for what seemed like forever. The pain was so intense that he wanted to just..leave, faint, or <em>something</em>. He felt utterly helpless and on the verge of surrendering.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“She’s not coming down!" Andrew sobbed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes she is!, I promise I can even see her” Neil replied, his voice soft and full of wonder. "It's okay, You can do it!"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“<em>Fuck</em>, get her out! He begged</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Andrew knew, in the back of his mind that Neil couldn’t do nothing more than what he was currently doing. But he wanted to Niel to do <em>something</em>. He didn't want to push anymore. He felt like he couldn’t push anymore but it was worse when he didn’t push, the endless stinging, the awful pins and needles sensation never living his body.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He gasped again, the pressure was not stopping. He growled long, pushed and strained, he could feel the baby right there, and suddenly they're not slowing down. His legs were aching, his back arching, he was grunting non stop the entire time he was bearing down, down, down, He didn't know how long he had been pushing non stop when suddenly his body jerked violently.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Head’s out” Abby said</p>
<p>“Contraction’s gone” Andrew managed to cry out</p>
<p>“That’s okay, take a deep breath, we’ll wait for the next one, she’s completely fine, no cord around her neck”</p>
<p>“She’s almost here” Neil said crying “You’re doing amazing” he kissed Andrew’s sweaty forehead.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When the next contraction hit Andrew pushed with all of the straight he had left in his body and <em>finally</em> something gave away.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He felt weak and a bit lightheaded. But the pressure was finally gone. And then a loud, strong cry that muted every other sound in the room, for a few seconds everything that Andrew could hear was his baby, his baby that was finally here.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Slowly the rest of the world came back to focus, the first other thing he heard was Neil chanting “She’s here” over and over, then he heard his own voice asking for his baby.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Abby gently placed her on his bare chest, Andrew touched her little head reverently, she was still crying with all the force of her little lungs</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I know” He said softly “That was really hard work little one, I know” He belatedly realized he was crying too, just like everyone on the room “You’re so tiny, I love you so,<em> so much</em>” He made some shooing noises and she started to calm down. He looked up to see Neil with tears falling freely down his face, he had a smile on his face that Andrew had never seen before</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“She’s here” He whispered one more time “You’re amazing” he lent down and kissed him on the lips gently and then he kissed the baby’s head; Olivia’s head.</p>
<p>“Do you want to cut the cord, Neil?” Abby asked, she was the only one who looked remotely composed, probably because she was on midwife move still, Neil nodded and try to wipe his tears away but they kept coming “That’s okay, take a deep breath, you can take your time, we’re not in a hurry” she said, and Neil nodded again, when he was a bit less shaky he cut the cord with tears still in his eyes, then got back to Andrew.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Abby cleaned Olivia with a warm cloth and did a preliminary check up, everything looked good so they helped Andrew sit up a bit to accommodate the baby in his arms while he got really to deliver the placenta.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>After more than twelve hours of labor that happened painfully slow the next few hours were a blur.</p>
<p>While Abby checked everything she needed to check on a new born, Neil and his mom gently cleaned him with warm wet towels and helped him move back to his bedroom.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>By his request they all had well deserved burgers for lunch/dinner while Olivia slept on Andrew’s arms because apparently being born was a very tiring experience.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Turned out that Millie and Grant had been out of town for the day but they were coming back as fast as they could to meet their daughter. A little bit past eight Andrew was laying in bed dosing off while Neil sat next to him holding Olivia when he felt someone gently calling his name, he opened his eyes groggily; the first thing he saw was Olivia being held and then bright blue eyes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“They’ll be here in about ten minutes, I thought you would want to be fully awake” Neil whispered, Andrew sat up feeling sore and still tired</p>
<p>“How long was I out?” He asked, his voice raspy and his body sleep warmed</p>
<p>“A little over an hour, Drew” He thought he had slept for a few minutes but apparently he was more tired than he realized</p>
<p>“You sat here and held her this entire time?”</p>
<p>“No, Betsy and Abby had their turns crying and holding her. I was cleaning the guest room for Millie and Grant, I’ve been sitting here with her for about fifteen minutes”</p>
<p>“Having your turn crying and holding her?” Andrew asked</p>
<p>“Yeah, she’s so perfect”</p>
<p>“She looks kinda like you” Neil scrunched up his nose</p>
<p>“No she doesn’t” Andrew smiled softly</p>
<p>“Yes she does, remember when you said new borns were very non-descriptive?, well this one’s not, this one looks like you, I think she’s gonna be a ginger”</p>
<p>“She’s basically bald, how can you even tell?” Andrew shrugged</p>
<p>“It would be very ironic but also not surprising in the slightest if I’m the one who was pregnant and suffered child birth and yet she ends up looking just like you” Neil giggled.</p>
<p>“I’ve never liked the idea of looking like Nathan, I hope she doesn’t mind it if she ends up looking like me” Andrew was going to answer but Olivia started to squirm, Neil passed her to him and he spoke softly to her, she settled to the sound of his voice “I love you both so much, and I’m so proud of you” Neil whispered, Andrew put his head on his partner’s shoulder while he held their baby and felt a rush of love like he never felt before.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The stayed like that for a few minutes when the bell rang, Abby went to get it and in no time Millie and Grant were knocking on the bedroom door that was actually open, they both looked a bit hesitant but Andrew smiled at them.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey guys” He said quietly “Ready to meet your daughter?” Millie nodded but they still didn’t come in</p>
<p>“Well, come on” Neil said, “We’ve been waiting for you”They entered the room slowly and as soon as they had a good view of Olivia they both started crying.</p>
<p>“Oh my God” Millie said in awe “She’s really here” She carefully sat on the bed, next to Andrew, Grant stayed standing with his arm around her wife’s shoulders.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Andrew looked right into her friend’s eyes and saw all of the love of a parent seeing her child for the first time and smiled. Slowly to not disturb the sleeping baby, she passed Olivia to her expecting hands.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She held her carefully, like the precious gift she was.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I had a baby” Andrew whispered “And now you’re a mother” They heard a loud sniffle; Neil and Grant had started crying, he felt himself getting emotional but it had been the most emotional day of his life so it was okay, this was one of the most important moments of his existence.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m a mother” Millie said while she cried silently “I love you with every fiber of my being already” She said to her daughter</p>
<p>“Thank you Andrew, Neil” Said Grant and kissed the baby’s little head “I love you my little baby, I love you so much”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>After a few minutes when it was time to feed Olivia, he called Abby and his mom and the six of them cooed over her while Andrew fed her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>In that moment with six adults and a baby cramped in their tiny bedroom, Andrew felt the most loved he had ever felt in his entire life. He was masculine man capable of carrying a baby inside of him, he had just delivered the most perfect little human that was going to have just the right parents for her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He had the rest of his life and his career ahead of him, he had a loving partner to come along for the journey with him, he had an amazing mother, and a brother and friends, but most importantly he had Olivia.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Olivia, that was forever going to be his baby.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Olivia, that thought him that not only he accepted his body but that he loved it, because for nine months there had been two heart beets within him, one supporting the live of the other and one bringing peace to the other’s soul.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Olivia, that had make him rediscover just how big the love of Neil was for him and how amazing his mother was.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Olivia, who had make him see his friends with new eyes and his future with hope.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And finally Olivia, that had made him realize that he wanted to have that kind of experience again and have a baby of his own with Neil. (in the next decade or so).</p>
<p> </p>
<p>In that very moment he felt like never before, because he had finally got to meet his little one, the one that brings peace.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you for coming along on this ride, I now this kind of fanfic is not for everybody, please leave kudos and comments if you enjoyed it, we jus have a short fluffy epilogue left.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lots of love from Ecuador and Happy New Year!! ;D</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I hope you're enjoying this, it's already finished so next chapter will be up Thursday, If you want to please leave some kudos and comments,</p><p>Lots of love from Ecuador</p><p>Kami.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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